Almost Healthy
by Sheppy
Summary: Sheppard's condition takes a turn for the worst after 'Conversion'....LOTS of Shep whump... Dang, he just looks so good when he's whumped g NOW REWRITTEN!
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This story has been completely redone. I wrote it in 2005 so you might have read it already. What I did was get rid of all mistakes and tried to make the story go along smoother.. Just be aware, this is NOT A NEW STORY!  
**_

_**I do not own the show, characters or storylines of Stargate!**_

_**This story follows the end of 'Conversion'.. It deals with the Colonel's recovery, because I think we always get cheated out of recovery scenes on the show!**_

_**And it contains lots of whump!**_

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"Come on, Doc…. I have been here for 10 days, I'm really gonna go crazy if you don't let me out of here soon!"

Dr. Beckett sighted. Colonel Sheppard was the most difficult patient imaginable, he didn't know anybody could even be that impatient. Despite the fact that Sheppard was downright annoying and slowly driving him crazy, Carson tried to remain calm.

"I know this is hard for you, but as I have told you again and again, you're just gonna have to be patient a wee bit longer" he answered.

"But Doc, I really feel perfectly fine… Why do I have to be cooped up in here when I'm FINE?"

"Stop whining now, you're acting like a five-year-old.. You're not _fine _and don't 'Doc'- me, you know fully well it doesn't work." He failed hiding his annoyance this time, but his expression quickly softened again when he saw the hurt-puppy-look in the Colonel's face.

"Look, I told you, the iratus bug stem cells worked and got you back to your usual charming self, but it also weakened your immune system considerably, any cold could be dangerous to you right now.."

"I'll promise to stay in my room and let nobody come near me, if you just let me outta here. My desk is full of paper work and I am bored to death!" he whined.

Carson noticed that Sheppard was really getting frustrated. He'd rather monitor him for a few more days, but wasn't sure if that was in his patient's best interest right now. The Doctor sighted "All right, if your condition doesn't change till tomorrow and you still feel up to it, I'll let you sleep in your own room…"

John's eyes lit up immediately "Thanks, Carson!"

"…BUT _no_ running around, _no_ briefings and NO paper work, I want you to rest! Do you understand?" he added with a serious look…

Sheppard nodded and smiled like a kid, looking very pleased with himself. "You're unbelievable, you know that?" Carson teased shaking his head.

"Yeah, isn't he annoying?" Rodney blurted out from the door, having heard Carson's last statement as he entered.

"Don't even go there, McKay." Sheppard replied playfully. "Anything exciting happen?"

"Not really, at least nothing that'd be to interest to you" he teased, fumbling with his kleenex and fighting the urge to sneeze.

"Don't underestimate me, right now pretty much anything besides needles and scrubs are interesting to me!"

"Bored, huh? Aren't you enjoying Carson's company?"

Sheppard eyed him critically, ignoring the question "So why did you come here, anyway? Just to visit an old buddy?"

"You mean a ranking military officer who is currently feeling very sorry for himself?…No, in fact, I am just here to let Carson take a look at me, I think I got the flu…"

Before Beckett could react, Rodney couldn't hold back any longer and accidently sneezed all over Sheppard. "Haaattschuu….."

"Ew, for gods sakes, McKay, that is just disgusting…" The Colonel complained, wiping furiously at his face. Anyway, before he could complain any more, he was cut off by a now very furious doctor.

"Bloody hell, Rodney, what do you think you're doin'?" he yelled accusingly while pushing McKay into the room next door.

Sheppard remained in his bed, puzzled as to why the doctor had reacted so harshly. It was disgusting, yes. But Carson acted like McKay had stabbed him with a knife.

'That can't be good.' John thought and relaxed into his pillow.

oOo

Rodney was clearly confused by the Doctor's sudden outburst. "But…I was just…" he tried to explain himself, but again was cut off.

"You do realize that the Colonel's immune system is practically non-existent right now and you had nothing better to do than blow your bacteria all over him. Do you know what that could do?" he asked angrily.

McKay looked puzzled. Carson had mentioned something about Sheppard's immune system days ago, but Rodney had given it no further thought. He had had no idea it was that serious. Or maybe Carson was just exaggerating - something he tended to do quite often when it came to his patients.

"Just get outta here!" Carson suggested, still sounding very pissed.

Rodney knew better than to argue with the Scot in the mood he was in and quietly left the infirmary while Carson took a moment to calm down. After he had gotten a hold of himself, Carson went back over to his only patient.

oOo

He shot him a concerned look .

"Come on, Doc. Don't be so dramatic. I almost felt sorry for Rodney and I'm the one who has his slime all over the face." Sheppard stated with a disgusted expression.

"You heard?" Carson asked.

"Of course I did, you were pretty loud in there… Look, I don't feel that fragile, to be honest. I may not even get sick, I really feel fine." He said reassuringly, but was not sure who he was really trying to convince: the doctor or himself. He didn't even want to think about having his infirmary stay prolonged now that Carson had finally given him the go-ahead for getting out of this place.

"Maybe you won't get sick. But maybe you will. The point is, did he really have to come in here and sneeze all over you, after I've explicitly told him about your immune system? I mean, being the genius that he always claims he is, I'd think he'd have a little more common sense."

"I know, but believe me Doc, I'm not gonna get sick, cause I wanna be out of here by tomorrow!"

Carson seemed doubtful. He gave Sheppard one last check-up before he decided to call it a night. His patient seemed OK for now, but he'd have to see if he showed any signs in the morning. He hoped for the Colonel's sake that he wouldn't. He had been through so much in the last weeks, a relapse was the last thing he needed right now.

"Well, your temperature is normal. Let's hope it stays that way.. Now, I want you to try and get some rest. Good night, Colonel"

"Good night, Doc!" John replied, leaning back. He wasn't too concerned, he knew of the doctor's tendency to overreact and fuss over his patient. Besides, he was set on turning his back on this place in the morning.

It didn't take long before his eyelids got heavy and he fell asleep…

oOo

After a rather restless night, Colonel Sheppard woke up with a pounding headache the next morning. 'Oh no' he thought. There's nothing like a headache greeting you when you wake up in the morning! What a way to start the day! Although it was still pretty early, but he could already see Beckett sitting on his desk going over some charts.

Sheppard considered calling him and asking for some Tylenol, but he still planned on getting out of the infirmary today. He was positive he could rest better in his own quarters and wasn't going to let a headache ruin that for him.

He decided not to worry the good doc since he was the one who had his ticket to freedom.

Being busy thinking of a way to persuade the Scot that he was fine without arousing too much suspicion, he didn't even notice Dr. Beckett approach. The physician eyed him carefully.

"How are you feeling, Son?" he asked, pulling Sheppard back to reality.

"Oh, good morning to you too, doc… Actually, I feel like I could jump fences. You got one around?" John replied with the most reassuring smile he could manage. He wasn't sure if Beckett would buy the act.

However, it seemed to work for now "OK then, I'll do one last check-up before I'll have one of the nurses wheel you to your own quarters."

"Sounds like a plan."

oOo

The final check-up processed slower than usual since Beckett insisted on examining him from head to toe, taking blood pressure, pulse, temperature and listening to seemingly every part of Sheppard's body with his stethoscope, taking his time. The penlight that the doctor seemed to love shining in his eyes didn't help his headache any, either. After the exam was finished, Sheppard felt spent.

Dr. Beckett looked at his patient sceptically. "So, how are ya feeling?" he asked again.

That alone should have made John suspicious, but the headache was getting worse and it kept him from thinking straight.

"I told you before, perfectly fine!" Sheppard was trying hard to sound convincing, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he knew that his voice sounded on edge. He didn't even notice the simple act of putting his shirt back on left him out of breath.

"You seem a little short of breath today, Colonel." Carson replied seriously.

"I have just missed out on a lot of work-out lately…"

Beckett had had enough of this. He knew perfectly well that the Colonel was far from fine and wanted to give him the chance to be reasonable, but it seemed like Sheppard lived in his own little naïve world.

His expression turned serious: "I'm sorry, Colonel, but we're gonna have to postpone your release just a wee bit longer."

John's face fell immediately "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I wish I was. But fact is, you have a temperature and there are also some signs of fluid beginning to build up in your lungs, which isn't good at all."

Sheppard let this settle for a moment: "Ok, then I have a cold. Big deal, I can sleep that out in my room." He suggested, still trying to get the doctor to release him.

"Don't you understand, the fluid in your lungs and the fever is a clear indication for a developing pneumonia.." Carson's features softened when he saw the desperate look in the Colonel's eyes.

"I know this sucks, Son, but you're gonna have to stay here just a bit longer. I'm gonna hook you up to an IV with antibiotics and hopefully, it'll fight off the worst of it." He gave Sheppard a reassuring pad on the shoulder and went to get the IV pole and the medicine out of the cabinet next to the Colonel's bed.

"You know, I hate those things." Sheppard stated quietly. His plan hadn't worked out at all. Actually, it had fired back at him pretty good.

"I know, lad, but it'll help you get better in no time."

"Let's hope so… Oh, and Doc, while you're at it, would you please put some Tylenol in there, too?" He realized that it was senseless to hide anything now.

"Headache?" Sheppard nodded.

"You know, you should really tell me if anything hurts, you're just makin it worse if you don't. And I'm not your enemy..."

"I just told you!" John spat, harsher than intended. He knew the doctor was only trying to help, but if he thought about any more days of lying around in the infirmary, he felt so frustrated. He hated feeling so weak. A gun shot wound was one thing, but to him, simply being sick was even more frustrating. In his world, only science geeks or hypochondriacs like McKay got sick, he was supposed to be the strong military commander and he couldn't even take care of his people.

Here he was again, spending more time in the infirmary than he ever thought possible.

Beckett interrupted his thoughts "I got that IV ready."

"Lucky me!" Sheppard replied sarcastically.

Before he could complain any more, Carson had already gotten hold of his hand and stuck the needle in, hitting the vein without difficulty.

"Ow.." he complained, rubbing the skin around the needle.

Only about a few seconds later, he could feel something warm flowing through his veins, his tongue was getting thicker and his eyelids started drooping.

"What…didcha…put…in there?" he asked with a slurred voice.

"Just a little something to help you sleep, God knows you'll need it." Carson answered, but his patient was already out cold. He knew he'd get a piece of mind from Sheppard about that when he woke up later. The Colonel absolutely hated to be drugged against his will, but sometimes it was just necessary. For the antibiotics to work properly, he needed to be as still as possible. Carson listened to his breathing sound one more time and wasn't happy with what he heard at all. Sheppard's breathing already sounded raspy and he could hear the fluid that was forming in his lungs even without a stethoscope. He hooked him up to the oxygen just to be on the safe side.

But there was one thing he was sure of. This would get worse before it got better.

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_**Ok, review and tell me what you think of it! I always appreciate tipps and tricks to improve my writing too, since English is not my first language... I have the second chapter finished and I'll post it if you like my stories (- if I get enough reviews, so don't be shy g)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Wow, thanks you guys, for the nice reviews! I'm really relieved you like it. I have to admit, it has been sittin' there, in my computer, all alone for some time now. I was just never brave enough to publish it with the excellent writing some of you come up with (side glance at Titan5 g) and my not-so-perfect English…**_

_**Titan5: Seems like we've given poor Shep the same disease, but he's gonna have to battle mine a bit longer, I can promise you that… I sure hope we'll be hearing from you soon!**_

_**Linzi: That was a very nice compliment, especially at GW, thank you… But, I gotta admit: German is harder to learn than English, so you shouldn't feel bad. I did horribly with French!**_

_**Jules47: The 'threat' not to post the second chapter was certainly not meant to piss off anyone. The thing is, if people don't like the story I won't have to type up the rest of it (I only have limited access to a computer and that to the most sucky times you can imagine)..It was just to save myself a lot of time and effort if nobody likes my story anyway…**_

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About an hour later, Dr. Beckett heard a soft knock on his office door: "Carson?" He put down the charts he was working on and opened the door.

"Oh, good morning, Elizabeth. Please, come in." he pointed at the chair across from his desk.

"I was gonna come by yesterday, but I had a lot to do and couldn't make it.." she sounded apologetic.

"It's OK, lass. I was going to inform you yesterday, too, but when I finally did have some time, it was very late and I really didn't wanna disturb you anymore. I know you never get enough sleep."

"Thank you, Carson…How is Colonel Sheppard?" she asked concerned "Rodney told me there has been some kind of misunderstanding?"

"Misunderstanding? That egocentric bugger can't even once admit that he made a mistake. He is such a…"

"Now, Carson, calm down.. What's wrong?" Elizabeth was surprised and equally concerned by the usually good natured doc's choice of 'words'.

"Well, he came in here yesterday sneezing all over Colonel Sheppard after I explicitly told him that his immune system was affected by the stem cells I injected to reverse the effects of the retro virus. And now the Colonel has developed a full-blown case of pneumonia…" he answered angrily, but softened when he saw the worried look in Dr. Weir's eyes. He'd caught her by surprise.

"I had no idea it was that bad or I would have made it a point to come check on him. Is he gonna be OK?"

"I wish I could tell you, lass. I've given him something to help him rest for now and I hope the antibiotics will get rid of the infection, but he does have a temperature and some fluid in his lungs already." Carson sounded more than worried.

"Can his immune system handle something severe like pneumonia right now?" she asked concerned.

"If it doesn't get any worse, he'll be fine" the doctor added, obviously sceptical. Colonel Sheppard really didn't have the best of luck when it came to setbacks.

oOo

Teyla entered the infirmary to pay Sheppard a visit when she saw Elizabeth in Carson's office having a conversation with the doctor. She did not want to disturb them, but she could tell by their body language that something was wrong. Wondering what they could be talking about, she went to see John in the private section of the infirmary. She was surprised when she found him still sound asleep. He was usually wide awake and bitching about being bored to death at this time a day. Teyla also noticed the nasal canula, but wasn't quite sure what it was for.. But seeing him attached to something again was enough to worry her greatly.

She decided not to wake John and went to Carson's office instead. The doctor would be able to tell her what was wrong.

Something definetly felt wrong to her. Teyla had to know what was going on with her friend and knocked on the door.

oOo

"Come in." Carson called from inside his office.

Teyla entered, looking puzzled.

"I did not mean to intrude, but I was wondering if you could tell me what is wrong with Colonel Sheppard? I came here to visit like I do every morning not only to find him still asleep, but attached to a machine?" she asked.

"That's just the oxygen I am givin' him through his nose. He is very sick, Teyla, and this is just to help him breathe more easily." Carson explained.

Teyla looked shell-shocked. "Sick? He told me only yesterday that he was going to be released this morning."

"Yes, I know. But he developed a condition we call 'pneumonia' over night and he's gonna have to stay here for the next couple a' days."

While Teyla was trying to sort out her feelings in silence, Elizabeth looked at her watch. She sighed: "I'm sorry Carson, I have to go back to a briefing now, but if anything changes…"

"…I'll contact you immediately." He finished her sentence.

"Thank you. Teyla..." She squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and left, heading for her office. She was concerned, but she also knew that they had the best doctor here and Carson would do anything in his power to help John.

Carson turned back to Teyla who still seemed a little nervous. She was lost in thought. "I was gonna go check on him anyway, wanna join me?" he offered.

"Yes.." Teyla answered and followed the doctor back to John's bed. She noticed how pale and shaken he looked.

"I do not understand, Dr. Beckett. He was just fine only hours ago. He was so excited to be finally released and now this?"

"I know, it's not fair…" Carson said, taking the Colonel's temperature. It had risen again, if only slightly.

Just to be on the safe side because pneumonia could pose a serious strain on the system, Carson decided to hook him up on a heart monitor as well.

"What is this?" Teyla asked.

"Just something that observes the heart beat, but it's only a precaution for now, so don't you worry…" he tried to sound convincing while adjusting the oxygen flow..

"But.. What kind of illness is this 'pneumonia'? I have never heard of it." she asked.

"It's an infection that affects the lungs. People normally get it when they were out in cold or wet weather for too long, but it also occurs sometimes when the immune system – which normally helps your body to fight off infections and heal itself rapidly – is very weak."

"And Colonel Sheppard's immune system was weak?" She didn't understand…

"Yes. It was a result of the stem cells I gave him to get rid of the retro virus." Teyla noticed that the doctor sounded somewhat distant and immediately understood why. "It was not your fault, Dr. Beckett, you were only trying to help and you saved his life."

He looked at her sadly. She was right, he did blame himself. It was his idea to treat the Colonel with the iratus bug stem cells. Hell, it was his retro virus that caused this mess in the first place. Without it, none of this would have happened. But he'd learned from it. He should have been more careful and he'd definetely never take one of his unfinished experiments to another planet again where he couldn't be sure who would get their hands on them and what it could do. Negligence had always been something he despised, especially if it was his own.

Carson shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. It wouldn't do anybody any good if he wasn't focused right now, least of all Colonel Sheppard…

"I think it is better if we let him rest for now, you can come back later, I'm sure he'd like some company once he's awake. He'll be bored to death now that he has to stay here for a wee bit longer than intended." Carson smiled. He tried to lighten up the mood, but didn't really succeed, his own concern was too obvious.

"Alright, I will… Would you tell him…" she tried to find the right words.

"Yeah, I'll tell him you were here, love." Carson offered.

He knew how close those two had become in the last few months and it was obvious that this wasn't easy for Teyla.

She nodded and left the infirmary quietly while Carson checked the IV line again and headed for his office, too.

oOo

When John woke up several hours later, he didn't know where he was for a moment. However, the steady beep of the heart monitor quickly reminded him – of course, the infirmary. His home for the last couple of weeks...He was so sick of this! 'Hold on…Heart monitor? I thought I was doin' better..' he thought. His head still seemed fuzzy and for some reason, he felt like he'd ran a marathon.

Was Ronon sitting on his chest?

He was concentrating on getting his breathing under control when Beckett showed up next to his bed. The doctor had to shake him to get his attention. "Colonel?"

"Yes…um..sorry, just tryin'…to catch…my breath." But it wasn't getting any better. If anything, it got even harder to breathe. And it hurt, too.

Beckett looked alarmed. This shouldn't be happening, at least not so fast. He hadn't even noticed Sheppard's increasing breathing difficulty and he'd just checked on him an hour ago. He was fine then, but now the doctor could make out a slight tinge of blue to his lips, which was an obvious sign that the man didn't get enough oxygen.

"Alright, Colonel I need ya to take slow, deep breaths now." He looked him in the eyes, as he removed the nasal canula and tried to put an oxygen mask over Sheppard's nose and mouth.

But the Colonel was struggling. The fact that he didn't get enough air left him on the verge of panicking. It felt as if he was drowning.

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_**Don't you hate cliffies? Hahahaaaa…. ;-)**_

_**Maybe some of you have noticed, this is slightly Teyla-Sheppard shipperish (is that a word?), but I'm not sure where I'm going with this, yet…**_


	3. Chapter 3

It was 12:30 PM and Rodney was just on his way to the mess hall. No matter how important and often life changing the devices he worked on were, he was never ever late for lunch. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, right?

As he was passing the gym, he could hear Teyla working out by herself, which didn't come as a surprise. Rodney knew that exercise was very important to the Athosian. Not that he understood it, how could anybody like doing that to their body? On the rare occasion that he was in the gym (usually because Sheppard forced him to 'stay in shape'), he always felt miserable for the next few days and unable to move..

But it seemed to help Teyla deal with problems. To her, it was kind of like food to him. Whenever he was stressed, scared or nervous, food seemed to help him get a grip on things.

Thinking about his own gym experiences reminded him of Sheppard. He had thought about stopping by the infirmary this morning, but he wasn't particularly anxious to face Beckett again. Of course he was sorry that he had caused Sheppard's cold, but could the man have been any more obnoxious? He hadn't done it on purpose!

oOo

The mess hall was not very crowded, even at lunch time. Rodney picked Chicken with Curry and Rice, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down on one of the empty tables in the back. He wasn't in the mood for company right now.

When he was about half way through his meal, Elizabeth came strolling in. Rodney couldn't help but notice the exhaustion in her features as she walked over to his table.

"Mind if I join you?" She asked politely.

"Not at all. But aren't you getting any food?" Rodney was somewhat puzzled. Why would she be in the mess hall at all if she didn't want to eat? It wasn't like it was a fun place to hang out or anything.

"No, I already had lunch… Uh, I talked to Beckett this morning." Rodney stared at his plate indifferently. So, that's what this was all about.

"So, how is Sheppard?"he asked nonchalantly.

"Not very good." she replied. That made Rodney look up from his plate to face Elizabeth. What did she mean? His condition wasn't that serious, was it? He was probably just coughing a bit and Beckett had made a big deal out of it in front of her, as usual.

In spite of Rodney's lack of response, Elizabeth continued: "It looks like his lungs developed an infection and Carson thinks it could be very dangerous in his weakened condition. I don't want to fear the worst, Rodney, but he did not look good this morning…. Have you been down to see him?" she asked, already knowing the answer. That was why she had come to talk to him in the first place. And judging by his expression, Rodney hadn't even known about John's condition up to now.

"Uh.. not yet, I was gonna go after lunch…. So, this is really bad?" She had Rodney's attention now. He looked worried, and was right to do so.

'What have I done?' he asked himself. 'What am I, stupid? This is all my fault. '

Elizabeth immediately noticed Rodney's face fall. He kept staring at his half eaten plate of chicken: "Listen, Rodney, this is not your fault. You didn't know it was that serious and you didn't intent to harm anyone."

But McKay's guilty conscience suddenly hit him with full force. He hadn't even been down there to see him, yet. "Excuse me, Elizabeth." He said, shoved his tray to the side and got up, heading for the door. Elizabeth let him go without asking further questions. She knew exactly where he was headed and decided to wait with her own visit until Rodney had had some time alone with the Doctor and the Colonel.

Ooo

McKay hesitated when he reached the infirmary entrance. He wasn't sure how Beckett would react, the Scot had been so mad at him, and as it turned out: for good reason.

He heard rushed noises from inside. 'Maybe this isn't the right time' he thought and turned his back to leave. But Rodney stopped himself. He had to do this now, there was no way around.

When he opened the door to the infirmary, Rodney heard Beckett barking orders that he couldn't quite make out. A nurse rushed in the direction of the noise, completely unaware of him standing there. 'Something must be wrong' Rodney thought and headed to the far side of the infirmary where the voices came from.

He immediately saw the cause of all the commotion around him.

The Colonel was sitting up in his bed obviously gasping for air. He looked completely frightened, fighting for every bit of oxygen.

Beckett was desperately trying to calm him down and get an oxygen mask on the Colonel, but his patient wouldn't stop struggling.

"Get me that syringe already!" he snapped at the nurse. She was filling up the syringe as fast as she could and handed it to Beckett in a matter of seconds. "Now help me hold his arm still!" She followed his orders, but it took them a few moments to get the flailing arm under control.

Rodney stood there, looking perplexed, but noticed that Sheppard's movements slowed immediately after the needle hit its target. However, his breathing didn't seem to relax very much, but Carson was finally able to put the oxygen mask on his patient. He held onto his shoulder supportively and waited for the Colonel's breathing to slow.

After a few minutes, the same Sheppard that had thrashed around in panic was lying very still on his side with his eyes half closed. His breathing was a lot slower, but it still sounded very raspy. Carson was busy listening to John's lungs with the stethoscope and didn't notice Rodney at first. But when he cleared his throat, the Doctor turned around. He too, looked very tired.

"Carson?" Rodney asked unsure of what to say.

"Have you decided to finally show up, huh?" he snapped. "Look at what you've done." He accused, pointing at Sheppard whose glassy eyes seemed to be looking into nothingness.

Rodney was going to defend himself but decided it was better to drop this for now, he was too concerned and needed to know what was going on.

"What was that, Carson?"

The Doctor's expression visibly relaxed. He realized it was not fair to blame Rodney for this mess. "It's not good news, Rodney. His lungs are filling up with fluids due to the infection.. I'll probably have to do a procedure to withdraw some of the fluid. We have to give his lungs some relief…" he shot a glance at Sheppard who still seemed to be in a different world. "But his vitals worry me, BP and pulse are too low, so I can't give him anything to put 'im to sleep and this procedure is very painful."

The thought of Sheppard having to go through a painful procedure without sedation made Rodney swallow, but the most concerning thing about all this was that Carson actually looked lost, like he didn't know what to do. And he had never seen the Doctor act like that, he always knew how to help when it came to medical conditions.

oOo

This first thing Sheppard noticed when he became aware of his surroundings was that he didn't feel like drowning anymore. It was still hard to breathe, but it felt like at least some oxygen found its way to his lungs. He rubbed at the IV needle and was surprised at how heavy his arm was. He didn't know what the Doc had put in that syringe, but it sure did its job. He was surprised though that he wasn't in a drug induced deep sleep by now. Beckett tended to do that to him on a regular basis and this time, he wouldn't even have complained given the way he felt.

Two voices nearby interrupted his thoughts. He tried to lift his head, but didn't have the strength to do so. This sucked!

"Carson?" he asked, surprised at how thin his voice sounded. He wasn't even sure the doctor had heard his call. He tried to take off the oxygen mask to speak more freely.

Carson instinctively turned around to his patient's bed when he heard a noise. He wasn't sure if Sheppard had really tried to say something or if he was imagining things. But the Colonel's eyes were open and more focused, and his hand was pulling at the oxygen mask. Carson gently took his hand away from the mask.

"That's gotta stay on for now, son." But Sheppard shook his head and looked pleadingly at Carson.

"Alright, but only for a minute." He gave in and removed the oxygen mask..

"Are you sure that this is a good idea? I think he needs any help he can get…" Rodney stated matter-of-factly and hesitantly stepped to the other side of the bed. Sheppard slowly turned his head and had to blink twice to focus on Rodney, black dots were clouding his vision.

"I'm…… still here….. Rodney." Sheppard struggled while he felt someone sticking something cold in his ear.

Carson frowned when he read the number on the thermometer: 103.6. The Colonel's temperature had gone up again. He looked at his patient and decided to tell him about the necessary procedure now that he was lucid.

"Ok listen, lad. I'm gonna have to do a procedure to withdraw some of the fluid in your lungs. It's gonna help you breathe easier…" Carson paused, not knowing how to continue. Sheppard frowned. He didn't like the word 'procedure', that never meant anything good and the fact that Beckett looked somewhat lost told him that this wasn't going to be pretty.

"It's… gonna hurt?" He asked weakly.

"Aye, I'm sorry Colonel.. I can't give you anything for the pain, your blood pressure and pulse are too low. I don't wanna risk heart failure. "

Judging by the compassionate look the Doctor gave him, Sheppard knew this was not going to be easy. And the talk of heart failure scared him. As shitty as he felt now, he didn't want to die yet. But anything was better than the suffocating feeling he had experienced earlier, anyway.

"Do it." He replied shortly, breaking out in a coughing fit.

Carson hurried to put the mask back on when the coughing fit subsided. He could tell the Colonel's breathing was getting worse again. He had to do the procedure as soon as possible.

"I'm gonna go prepare my things now, Rodney. Could you stay and help me do this?"

Rodney hesitated. He hated watching things like that, but the look Carson shot him told him that he was gonna be needed. He hoped not for what he thought, but nodded in agreement.

Sheppard was half asleep by then, his lips already turning a more darker shade of blue. The coughing fit had worn him out and it had probably hurt like hell, too. Rodney thought that he might even be unsconcious for the procedure, he sure hoped so for the Colonel's sake…

* * *

**_Wah! Poor Sheppard doesn't get a break, does he? He's gonna have to suffer again in the next chapter _**

_**BTW: My medical knowledge is limited to what I've learned by watching ER, so no guarantee…**_

**_And thank all of you for the reviews, they really make my day a little brighter _**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N:Everyone: I have enable Anonymous Reviews now, didn't know that I had to.. I have been lurking around for almost a year till I signed in, so I know what it's like LOL_**

_**Rogue1503: Thank you so much for the kind words, you can't believe how nice it is to have somebody say that about your first story! It really encourages me to write more…hugs**_

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After Dr. Beckett had gathered all the equipment necessary for his task, he decided to stop by his office to let Elizabeth know the news about the Colonel's declining condition. He'd promised her to keep her up to date and hadn't had time to talk to her yet.

He tapped on his radio "Elizabeth?".

"Yes Carson, I'm listening" came the immediate reply.

"Sorry to disturb you, but I have some bad news. The Colonel's condition is worsening. He already has some trouble breathing and his temperature is rising… I'm about to do a procedure to retrieve some of the fluids, that should ease his breathing…Rodney is here and he's gonna help me with…." Elizabeth cut him off, her voice sounding alarmed.

"Hold on!… How can this be happening so fast? I just talked to you not even 8 hours ago and you didn't mention anything about a possibility of these complications then." Elizabeth's voice was filled with worry.

"Aye, I wish I could give you better news, but his condition is deteriorating rapidly and I have to do something soon, or he's gonna suffocate!"

Elizabeth had to swallow hard. Suffocate? She wasn't prepared for the kind of bad news Carson had just given her. She never was and never would be. Sure, she had known that John's condition was serious, but she hadn't expected that they had to take such drastic measures so soon.

"Alright, do you need me to come down there?"

"No, I have enough people here to help me, thank you." The Doctor answered, looking at his watch.

"I'm sorry Elizabeth, I have to go back now.The sooner we get it over with, the better…"

"Of course. Thanks for informing me, Carson. I'll come by later… Good luck!" she tried to sound encouraging, but knew that she wouldn't be able to take her mind off of John. This man was gonna give her a heart attack some day.

"Thank you, Elizabeth. I'm doin' everything I can." He promised and headed back to take care of his patient. This was gonna be very hard on all of them…

"I know you are."

OOo

Carson returned only a few minutes later, two nurses in tow. His expression was unreadable, but Rodney knew exactly how the doctor felt. He gave him an encouraging smile while the doctor prepared the first syringe.

"He's asleep?" Carson looked at Sheppard, hope evident in his features. Maybe the Colonel wouldn't be conscious for the procedure after all. That would save all of them a lot of pain and discomfort.

He also noticed that in the few minutes he was gone, the Colonel's breathing had become even more labored. They did not have any time to lose.

"Yeah, he passed out just after you left. He was very exhausted." Answered Rodney.

"Aye, that is to be expected. " he fumbled with his instruments "…OK, I'm ready. Sarah, would you help me put him on his left side?" he asked the nurse that was standing next to him. She nodded and they gently rolled the Colonel over. He neither woke up nor make a sound, which was a good sign.

Carson momentarily thought about not doing the procedure and hooking the Colonel up on a ventilator instead. But he quickly decided against it, a ventilator was always the last resort.

After he had all his instruments disinfected and ready, he lifted Sheppard's gown searching for the right place and had his finger on the spot seconds later. Rodney frowned when his gaze fell upon the needle. It was huge, the biggest needle he'd ever seen in his life. It was the kind that Carson always threatened him with to shut him up. He knew he wouldn't be too happy to be stuck with that thing and felt very sorry for his friend.

"Rodney, I want you to take the Colonel's shoulders, Sarah and Lisa, you take his legs. If he wakes up, you've gotta keep him still. This is very important! If he jerks during the procedure, the needle could damage his lung. ….Ready?" The nurses nodded, but Rodney hesitated. He knew that the doctor had switched to a professional mode. He, on the other hand, couldn't help but think about the huge needle that was about to be stuck deep into his friend's body. He was afraid he was going to be sick..

"Rodney?" Carson asked impatiently "We need to do this now!"

"Yes, yes, I'm ready." He still sounded unconvinced, but placed his hands on both of the Colonel's shoulders. If Beckett was convinced that it was the best thing to do, he'd do everything in his power to make it work.

OOo

Their faint hope that Sheppard would stay unsconcious during the procedure and wouldn't feel a thing quickly vanished as the Doctor carefully pierced the needle through his skin. The Colonel flinched and moaned, but wasn't completely awake, yet. His eyes were still closed. However, Rodney and the nurses had to tighten their grip to keep him from moving too much.

Carson looked up when he felt his patient flinch. The needle was in, but the worst was still to come.

Rodney gave him an encouraging nod, but the Doctor knew how much the scientist had to fight his own insecurities about this. But he needed to be focused right now, so he took a moment to get rid of all the negative thoughts, inhaled deeply and began to withdraw the fluid. When the syringe filled up with bright red blood right away and he felt his patient flinch, he knew he had the right spot.

OOo

Sheppard's eyes shot open immediately as he tried to move away from the pain. His whole body tightened and Rodney had trouble holding him down already. His heart sank when Sheppard shot him a questioning and panicked look. It was like he didn't remember why they were hurting him. The possibility that Sheppard thought they were causing him pain unnecessarily made Rodney sick!

Sheppard's hand tried to shove away Rodney's arm and the scientist was surprised where all the strength suddenly came from. The Colonel was too weak to lift a finger half an hour ago and now he had a hard time keeping him down, but couldn't for the life of it prevent all movement.

"Rodney, you've got to hold him still, I can't work like this." Carson shouted angrily.

"I'm doing what I can, Carson." He answered bluntly, but had an idea. He tried to look Sheppard in the eyes while putting more weight on his shoulders. Maybe talking to him would help calm him down and remind him of the situation.

"Listen John, you need to calm down now, we're only trying to help…We talked about this, remember?"

But Sheppard didn't seem to hear him, he was lost in his own world of pain, completely oblivious to the world surrounding him. However, when Rodney put his whole weight on the Colonel's shoulders, he managed to keep him still enough for Carson to be able to do his work.

oOo

It felt like forever until Carson was finished and finally pulled out the needle.

"Okay, you can let go now, I'm done with this side."

Rodney frowned. He had forgotten that they had to do the same procedure on the other side.

They gently rolled Sheppard back on his back, but lines of pain were still evident all over his face. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands tightened into a fist. It took Rodney a minute to realize that Sheppard also held his breath, apparently afraid to draw in breath. He looked at Carson, alarmed.

"Colonel, I need you to relax, it is over for now, lad" He addressed Sheppard soothingly and gently shook his shoulders to get his attention. Sheppard let out a few gasps and Carson was finally able to put the oxygen mask back on to help him control his breathing. After a few minutes, his expression relaxed and he opened his glassy eyes.

"Wa..ter?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper under the oxygen mask.

Dr. Beckett grabbed the glass of water that seemed to be always present, moved the mask and offered him a few sips with a straw. Sheppard drank greedily.

"Not too much, Colonel. I want you to keep it down." He explained, taking away the rest of the water.

"That …was fun." Sheppard's eyelids were already drooping again, which really concerned Carson. Now that the adrenalin rush was over, his pulse was a lot slower than it should be.

"I'm sorry, lad. I wish I could spare you that, but I have to do the other side, too. Both lungs have to be relieved of the fluid." The Doctor looked helpless. The last thing he wanted to do is cause his patient more pain, but there was no way around, this had to be done and soon.

"Can't you wait an hour? Give him a break?" Rodney interrupted.

"No Rodney, he doesn't get enough oxygen. If we don't do this now, I'll have to put him on a ventilator…"

"Well, maybe that would be better in his case, certainly less painful."

"It wouldn't be. I still can't give him anything to put him to sleep and having a tube shoved down your throat is very uncomfortable as you can probably imagine. And a ventilator will be the last resort anyway, when nothing else helps." Carson argued.

"Would you two….cut it out?…I don' wanna…. be… on… a vent." Sheppard's voice was barely audible, but both men had heard his request. Carson nodded.

However, Rodney wasn't happy about it. He didn't know if he could take seeing his friend going through this again. He couldn't get the image of Sheppard writhing in agony and his pleading eyes to stop this out of his head.

"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully, trying to make out how Sheppard really felt about this.

Sheppard nodded weakly, but it did look like he was trying to convince himself more than anybody else..

"I'm…ready." He looked at Carson. He knew that the Doctor only did what he had to do. He felt that there wasn't much space for oxygen in his lung filled with fluids. However, he could also feel the relief in the other lung, convincing him that the treatment was helping and necessary.

OOo

Sheppard groaned as the Doctor and McKay gently rolled him on his right side. His whole body was in pain, but at the same time so extremely weak that he couldn't as much move. At least this time, he wouldn't be surprised by the pain. He wished there was a way to prepare for something like that, but he was at a loss.

After he was adjusted on his right side and Carson had made sure that the oxygen mask was securely in place, he felt the Doctor lifting his gown and putting a finger on the spot where he knew the needle would come in. He also saw Rodney's uncertain expression as he put his hands on his shoulders, not applying much pressure, yet. But McKay avoided his eyes. It was obvious that Rodney didn't like this at all.

"It's… OK…Rodney." He reassured him as he felt Rodney as well as the nurses tighten their grip. He tried to prepare himself for the pain, but was once again surprised when the Doctor began with the procedure.

"Ah…" he groaned as he felt the large needle pierce through his skin. But this time, he didn't have the strength to move around much under McKay's grip. He had no idea where the strength came from last time, but it sure wasn't there now. He was exhausted. All he could do now was moan weakly and hold his breath. That seemed to help with the pain a little, but also left him dizzy and nauseous. He couldn't even begin to describe the agony he was in and now wished he hadn't agreed to the procedure. Having a tube in your throat can't be that painful..

The last thing he felt before everything went dark was warm blood dripping down his cheeks..

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_**Grrrrr.. I couldn't resist… AGAIN! I hope I kept you hooked, I'm really having lots of fun writing this story! I also think I might be a little whump- addicted .. Bad, baaaad me! **_

_**Anyway, I think I might not be the only one, what do you think?**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Dani84: Since I am German, I understand German very well g**_

_**Rodney und Sheppard sind zwar sehr gute Freunde, aber sie ärgern sich ständig und gehen sich gegenseitig auf die Nerven. Das wird besonders in mehreren Folgen aus Season 2 klar. In meiner Story gehen sie sich auch erst auf die Nerven, aber dass sie eigentlich sehr gute Freunde sind, wird mit Verlauf der Story deutlich...**_

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"Oh my God.. Carson, stop! There's blood coming out of his mouth and he's unconscious, too…." Rodney shouted when he saw the small stream of blood staining the inside of his oxygen mask red.

Carson's head shot up, but he professionally kept the needle still. He wasn't finished yet, but paused when he heard Rodney's panicked voice.

"Where is he bleedin', Rodney?" he asked impatiently, not taking his eyes off of the needle.

"It's coming out of his mouth… Doesn't that mean internal bleeding or something like that? He is gonna die, isn't he Carson?… Oh my God, he's gonna die.." Rodney started hyperventilating…

"Now, calm down Rodney, it doesn't necessarily mean internal bleedin'."

The Doctor thought about it for a moment, but couldn't come up with a logical explanation where the blood could be coming from. It was very possible that the Colonel would cough up blood in his current condition, but he was sure he hadn't heard him coughing in the last few minutes. However, he had to finish the procedure, before he could worry about that. He was almost done anyway.

"I'm gonna finish this now, we can worry about the blood in a minute.." he stated, focusing on his task once again.

McKay was speechless. Had he overreacted? Usually he considered himself a person who didn't panic easily and Carson tended to be the one fussing over every little detail, but the Doctor didn't seem to be too worried.

oOo

It didn't take Beckett long to finish the procedure. He gently removed the needle and was more than relieved that this was over and he didn't have to cause his patient any more pain - at least for a little while.

He carefully turned him over with McKay's help, and after he had removed the mask, the doctor immediately saw the cause of the small puddle of blood forming around his patient's mouth.

"He's just bitten his lip McKay, no internal bleedin'." He reassured Rodney, pointing to the wound in the Colonel's lip.

However, the fact that Sheppard had been in so much pain that he had bitten his lip, drawing blood made the Doctor flinch. He was glad that the Colonel was finally sleeping.

Carson checked the sound of his lungs again, satisfied that his breathing seemed to be easier and less labored. He just hoped he didn't have to do that procedure again…

"OK Rodney, everything seems to be alright for now. Let's just give him a break and let him rest for awhile.." he suggested.

McKay was going to protest, unwilling to leave his friend alone. But when he looked at Sheppard again and noticed the dark circles under his eyes, he decided to let him be for now. He knew he didn't have the reputation for being able to stay quiet for nothing, so he had to leave whether he liked it or not.

"Yeah, we should do that." The Scientist answered and led the way to Carson's office.

OOo

"So, what is gonna happen next?" Rodney asked after Beckett had closed the door to his office and sat down behind his desk.

"I wish I could tell you that, Rodney. But this seems to be a very aggressive type of pneumonia and with his weakened immune system… I have never seen a patient whose condition declined so rapidly. We can only wait and hope this doesn't get any worse."

Beckett expected a bombardment of questions, but Rodney only nodded, his expression a mixture of desperation and guilt. The Doctor remembered their argument earlier and realized that he might have been too hard on Rodney. He knew the man hadn't meant to cause any harm..

"You know, he doesn't blame you for anything, Laddie. And neither do I." He placed his hand on McKay's back to reassure him that he meant what he said.

"Yes, he does. I was the one who gave him this crap." Rodney answered agitated.

"Did you mean for him to get sick?"

"Of course, I didn't _mean_ for him to get sick, what kind of question is that?"

Carson ignored the question. "We _all_ make mistakes, Rodney…"

"Yeah well, looks like I had my fair share of mistakes lately… Hell, you yourself blamed me for this a few hours ago." Rodney snapped accusingly..

The Doctor sighted. This conversation didn't go the way he wanted it to. "I didn't mean it, I was just worried. You know I tend to get all caught up when I'm worried."

Rodney glanced at the doctor, trying to figure out if the he was telling the truth. The look in Beckett's eyes was one of reassurance and honesty..

"You do, huh?" he asked playfully. He knew that Beckett was right. Blaming themselves didn't help Sheppard and certainly didn't make the situation any more bearable for them.

"Aye." Beckett answered with a smile. He hoped he had succeeded in taking the load of guilt he was partly responsible for off of Rodney's shoulders.

"Alright, I think I'll go back to the lab… You know, lots of important things to do there.."

"Of course, Rodney.." The Doctor smiled, openening the door for McKay. He was glad that the Scientist wasn't staying. He didn't know how long he could put up with him when he had other things in mind. It wasn't that he didn't like the Scientist- he really did, but the man could be downright annoying sometimes.

"But call me if anything changes, Ok?" Rodney demanded before leaving..

"Aye, I will." Carson promised, closing the door.

OOo

After a few hours had passed and Carson was done with some overdue charts, he decided to check on his only patient again.

Sheppard was still sound asleep, with dark circles under his eyes and heat radiating from his body. With all the commotion in the last few hours, the Doctor hadn't had any time to worry about the fever. But he knew he had to do something to try and get it down at least a little bit.

He exchanged the almost empty IV bag with a new one and since the antibiotics didn't seem to help with the fever, prepared a cooling blanket.

Sheppard didn't wake up when Beckett removed the other blanket and covered him with the cooling blanket from neck to toe.

While the Doctor was doing last adjustments, he heard the door opening, followed by two people definetly arguing. He could make out the voices of Teyla and Ronon and thought they were probably here to check on the Colonel. He was about to tell them to come back later when he noticed that Ronon had one arm around Teyla's waist, supporting some of her weight. Her face was deathly white and sweaty.

"What happened, Love?" he asked, leading Teyla over to the next unoccupied bed.

"It is nothing, Dr. Beckett. I…" She answered, but fell silent when her knees failed to support her weight once again.

Ronon and Carson helped her up on the bed and the Doctor pulled out his penlight and did what he always did first.

"She collapsed during our sparring session today. She's been in the gym without a break for hours.." Ronon explained, eying Teyla carefully.

"I am fine, really." She tried to sound convincing, but couldn't hide the fact that she still felt somewhat lightheaded.

"You don't look fine, Love. More like death warmed over." Carson claimed and instructed her to lie down on the bed. The Doctor did the usual procedure: Blood Pressure, Pulse, Temperature and so on..

When he was finished with his exam, he shot her a critical glance. "Your pulse is a little low and you are dehydrated. Did you eat or drink anything today?"

Teyla thought about the question. She had had a hard time getting John's condition out of her head, so she went to the gym right after she left the infirmary this morning and hadn't left ever since until Ronon had forced her to come see the Doctor.

Working out had helped her get her mind off of things, but she realized that she hadn't thought about stopping by the mess hall first to get something to eat or drink. And when Ronon came for their daily training session at 3 o'clock, she had already been practicing for hours and exhaustion had caught up with her.

When she hit the ground after Ronon's first blow and had trouble getting up, he had insisted she saw the Doctor right away.

"I may have forgotten.." she admitted and Dr. Beckett didn't look surprised. He handed her the scrubs he'd grabbed on the way to get an IV bag with fluids.

"Put these on, you're gonna be my guest tonight."

Teyla was about to argue when her glance fell upon the still figure a few beds to her right. Ronon had walked over there and now stood next to Sheppard's bed staring at him.

"How is the Colonel?" She asked, never taking her eyes off of him.

Carson sighted "He had a rough morning, but he's doin' better and sleepin' now."

Teyla thought about what to do next. She was very concerned about Sheppard, so she decided not to argue with the doctor about her stay, but she did have one request.

"Would you mind if I take the bed next to that of the Colonel?" she asked innocently.

Carson smiled back at her. "Of course not, Love." He said and helped her walk over to the bed closest to Sheppard's.

When Teyla was hooked up to the IV and settled in her bed, she noticed Ronon's puzzled face. He was still staring at the Colonel who was oblivious to anything going on around him.

"Ronon?" she asked, trying to get his attention.

"He looks so different." He answered in a distant tone.

"Yes, he does" she agreed sadly "but I am sure he will be fine."

Ronon nodded, exchanged a few words with Beckett and excused himself. He was still new in the team, but Teyla knew that he paid Sheppard a great deal of respect, sometimes even seemed a little protective of him.

"Odd fella, isn't he?" Carson interrupted her thoughts.

"He has been on the run for years. I think it is hard for him to get used to being around people again." Teyla yawned.

"I think you're right…. Listen, I want you to rest now. If you need anything, I am right there." He pointed at his office and checked Sheppard's oxygen mask again before he left.

Unaware of the sedative Beckett had added to her IV, Teyla was asleep within minutes.

OOo

A few hours later, Teyla woke up to somebody calling her name. She was confused at first, but quickly remembered where she was - the infirmary. She turned her head to find John looking at her. The oxygen mask was hanging loosely around his neck and his eyes had a glassy look to them. She tried to get up, but settled with sitting on the edge of her bed when she realized that she was still feeling somewhat dizzy.

"Colonel, you should really leave that on." She instructed and leaned over to fumble with the oxygen mask, trying to put it back in place. But the Colonel shoved her hand away and shook his head.

"Teyla… What….are you…doin' here? You OK?" he managed to ask weakly, eyes half closed.

"Nothing serious, I just worked out too hard."

Sheppard smiled. It didn't surprise him at all, Teyla tended to do that when she was worried, just like him. However, it had never put him in the infirmary. As realization of his current situation set in, his smile faded. He was freezing cold. 'They should really turn up the heat in here, it's freezing.' He thought.

"Is everything alright, Colonel?" Teyla had noticed the puzzled look on Sheppard's face and saw that he was shivering.

"C…Cold.." he answered with chattering teeth..

"Dr. Beckett!" Teyla shouted, immediately catching the Doctor's attention. He dropped the chart he was working on and hurried over to his patients beds.

"What's wrong, Love?" he asked Teyla.

"Colonel Sheppard. He is shivering very hard." She answered, pointing at the Colonel.

Carson put his hand on Sheppard's forehead to see if his fever had gone down. He was relieved to feel that it actually felt a little cooler. His patient looked at him, his eyes pleading to do something.

"Alright, Colonel. I can take the cooling blanket off now and you'll warm up in a few minutes." He promised as he removed the cooling blanket and put the other blanket back on. He felt sorry for his shivering patient, but was glad that the blanket had worked in getting his fever down.

Carson was also relieved that Sheppard's breathing hadn't gotten any worse. It wasn't very good either, but the Colonel didn't seem to have any trouble moving enough oxygen right now.

"That's….better…..Thanx." Sheppard managed before relaxing under his comfortable covers. Carson checked BP, temperature and pulse again, but the Colonel was already fast asleep when he was done.

Even though his condition had improved otherwise, John's pulse was still on the low side. Carson couldn't explain himself why.

He turned his attention back to Teyla who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. "So, how do you feel, Love?" he asked, gently pushing her back to a lying position.

"I feel better. Just still a little tired." She admitted, sounding defeated.

"Aye, you should go back to sleep, too. Get some rest. You should be back on your feet by tomorrow."

Teyla nodded. "Is the Colonel doing better?" she asked hopefully.

"Aye, I think so. There's reason to believe that the worst is over." He smiled, unaware of the fact that this was merely the calm before the storm.

OOo

A few hours later – it was well into the night – a ringing in his ears woke Carson up. He had fallen asleep with his head on the desk and it took the Doctor a moment to realize that he was not in his room and it was not his alarm clock making all the noise.

Realization set in when he heard Teyla shouting his name. 'Something must be wrong.'

He hurried out of his office and was greeted by a shocking sight.

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_**Yes, yes I know I'm bad.. **_

**_Actually, I wasn't gonna do a cliffhanger this chapter, but since it was long and kind of slow I had to keep you guys hooked. Besides, I think I'm cliffhanger-addicted…_**

_**Soooo how'd you like it? I can promise you that there'll be shameless Shep-Whump again in the next chapter!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Wow, I can't say it often enough: Thank you guys for all the beautiful reviews, you put a smile on my face and keep me going!**_

**_Electic Trekker: You're gonna like this one…_**

_**SciFi chick: Oh please, I don't want you to die…So here it is…LOL**_

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Sheppard was tossing and turning in his bed, coughing violently and gasping for air. The shocking sight was very much the one that Carson had witnessed only hours before, except that there was bubbly pink blood now dripping freely from the Colonel's mouth onto his gown and blanket. His right hand was tightened around the bed rails, knuckles already turning white from the grip and his eyes were wide open in panic. His pale face very much resembled the color of the white sheets, only emphasized by the contrast of the blood.

Teyla was standing next to the Colonel, frantically trying to calm him down by rubbing his back and talking to him soothingly.

"What happened, Teyla?" Carson shouted as he approached, checking the numbers on the heart monitor. It was still beeping loudly, Sheppard's heart beat was clearly too fast.

"I do not know, he was coughing up blood and breathing heavily when I woke up." She answered, obviously scared and confused.

Beckett didn't need to be a genius to figure out what was wrong with the Colonel. He wasn't getting enough oxygen and the blood was probably blocking his airways.

"Ok, Colonel…Try to take slow breaths, if you panic, it's only gonna get worse." He instructed, oblivious to the fact that his oxygen- deprived patient was far beyond thinking clearly already.

He was fighting for his life.

Carson hesitated for a moment, trying to decide what to do next. The procedure from earlier obviously didn't bring much relief for very long and he did not want to put his patient through it again if it wasn't helping.

That left only one option.

He yelled for the nurse who he knew was sleeping next door and then turned around to face Teyla "You stay with him, Love. Keep tryin' to calm him down, maybe he can hear you. I'll be right back." He told Teyla and hurried away.

Teyla nodded and turned her attention back to John.

He had almost stopped all the struggling and was now leaning back against the bed. His eyes were barely open and Teyla could only make out very few shallow breaths. She desperately tried to put the oxygen mask back in place, but at the same time knew that it couldn't help her friend anymore. His glassy eyes seemed to stare into nothing and his grip on the bed rail had loosened, leaving his hands hanging loosely over the edge of the bed. She knew what he was doing. She'd seen it before in people's eyes.

"No John, you cannot give up now!" she took his left hand in hers, tears rolling down her cheeks "NO! You cannot leave me alone now, please John… We need you here, I….need you." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but John unexpectedly turned his head to face her.

His eyes told Teyla that he wanted to say something, so she bent down, her ear just above his mouth and listened carefully.

He took all his remaining strength, lifted his head just off the pillow close to her ear and whispered "…need…you…too. M'sorry..."

Before Teyla could respond, he closed his eyes and she felt his hand go slack.

She remembered John telling her once about a common belief on Earth that dying people would see their whole life flashing in front of their eyes in slow motion just before they moved on. She did not now if this held any truth, but now that a very important person was dying in front of her eyes, she relived all the memorable moments she had shared with him in the last few months, trying to prepare herself for a life without him.

---

The way he had looked _at_ her, not _through_ her when they first met.

The moment in the jumper when he was at the brink of death, asking _her_ if she was OK.

The way he had stood up for her and her people when everybody else thought they had betrayed them to the Wraith.

When he had taken her shopping on Earth in the fabricated reality – the feeling was real to her.

The fact that he had risked his life saving Orin and his family – on her request.

Their endless sparring sessions. He seemed to be the only man who was not insulted when she beat him, even seemed to enjoy her beating him.

The brief look of jealousy when he had walked in on her and Ronon sparring.

The moment when she was pointing a gun at him, but knew she could never have killed him during his conversion into a bug.

But the most vivid image in her mind was when he had kissed her during one of their sparring sessions. She had hoped that there was more to it than just his changing DNA ever since. That he felt more. It may not have been the way she would have liked it to be, but he _did_ kiss her and that was all that mattered to her.

---

In a sudden flash of anger, she grabbed his gown and pulled his upper body off the pillow, shaking him almost violently. "No! Stop it! You cannot do this to me…" she yelled, painfully aware of the fact that he couldn't hear her anymore.

Dr. Beckett however, who was just returning with the nurse in tow, could.

"What are you doin'? " he asked, roughly shoving Teyla to the side.

"He's not breathing! Sarah, I need that tube now!" he shouted. The nurse grabbed the tube and hurried to his side, handing him the instrument in an instant.

It took Beckett a few seconds to establish an airway, the Colonel's throat was bloody and swollen. For the first time since they left Earth, he could use his good training he'd had in one of the best hospitals in the United States. This intubation was very tricky.

"OK, I'm in." He stated and connected the tube to the machine the nurse held ready just a few inches away from him.

Carson was relieved that the heart monitor still showed a heart beat, even if it was slow and unsteady. They had come very close this time and it wasn't over, yet.

"Dr. Beckett?" Teyla's unsteady voice startled him. She was still standing a few feet away from the bed and looked distraught and shell- shocked.

"You should get back to bed, Love. You did good." He told her in a calmer voice while adjusting the ventilator and checking the Colonel over for any more damage.

There was a lot of blood, but other than the bitten lip from earlier, he could find no external injuries.

Beckett looked at his watch: It was 4:30 AM. It had been 8 hours since he had last checked on his patients. He cursed himself for falling asleep and judging by the amount of blood on Sheppard's gown and blanket, he must have been coughing in his sleep for minutes until the alarm finally went off. He should have been more careful. Only a few seconds later and the Colonel would have suffocated, or rather drowned in his own blood.

"Will he live?" Teyla asked in a tear stricken voice.

The nurse had helped her settle back into bed when Carson noticed that she must have pulled her IV out earlier. He walked over to her and took her hand to gently clean up the few drops of blood the tear had left.

"I don't know, Love. I wish I had better news." He noticed that Teyla was turning her face away from him, trying to hide her tears.

"It's OK, Love. I know this is hard on you…" he was at a loss for words. How could he encourage her to keep up her hope when he was so helpless himself? All they could do now was wait and he wasn't good at waiting.

He decided to give Teyla a sedative to help her rest and the fact that she didn't complain told him a lot about the mental state she was in. He hoped for all of their sakes that the Colonel would pull through.

OOo

After Carson had helped Sarah change the Colonel's gown and blanket, he reset the heart monitor, so that the alarm would go off at the slightest irregularity.

He also had to put the cooling blanket back on his patient, because his fever had risen again. It was now higher than ever and the Doctor wasn't sure if John was just deeply unconscious or in a coma by now. He couldn't out-rule brain damage either, because he had no idea for how long exactly Sheppard had been without oxygen.

Dr. Beckett looked at his watch again. It was 5:30 now and he knew it wouldn't be long before either Rodney or Elizabeth showed up in the infirmary.

How would he explain what happened?

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_**Soooooo, what do you think? I've put a lot of effort in this chapter, I hope you like it! And as promised: No cliffie this time…**_

_**EDIT: I'm sorry that my English is not perfect, I know it makes it harder to read. That's why I appreciate all the encouraging reviews even more!**_

_**I have changed a few details due to some suggestions you have made. If I use words or phrases the wrong way, don't hesitate to tell me. I'm always eager to improve my English!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N:_ _Wew, I'm back! I've had a very busy week settling in and getting started with my new life, but I've managed to write the next chapter… It's kind of comforting to escape RL for awhile… Writing and reading other fics help me do that… But who am I telling this? You all know that, __otherwise you wouldn't be here reading this right now, would you? _**

_**Sooo, this one is mostly the last chapter in Sheppard's POV, but continues on with the story as well.. I just hate reading 'other POV' or 'flashback' chapters that keep the reader at the same point and time as the last chapter, so I won't do that to you.**_

_**Oh, and thank you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for all the nice reviews, I never thought I'd get that many. I am really touched and could hug each and every one of you.**_

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_**A few hours earlier:**_

John Sheppard woke up to a coughing fit for the up-teenth time in the last two days. He was so sick of this. After the few hours of decent sleep – thanks to Beckett's magic pills – he had actually hoped he'd feel a little better, but on the contrary: He was still too weak to even lift a finger and his throat was so sore, it literally felt like raw meat. This was really not his idea of fun and he decided to strangle Rodney the next time he showed up for making him feel as crappy as he did.

Ironically, it'd probably take two months until he had gained enough strength back to even think about doing something like that. As of right now, he couldn't kill a bug if he wanted to.

Sheppard frowned. He didn't really blame Rodney, he was just mad at the whole world right now. His luck sucked!

There was one good thing he noticed, though: At least he wasn't cold anymore. Which led him back to the way he had felt not too long ago. John wondered if there was really no other way to lower a fever than trying to freeze the patient to death. That had been most uncomfortable and it seemed a little too old-fashioned for Beckett. The Doctor was usually all about the new stuff. Gene therapies and retro viruses were his kind of things, cooling blankets: not so much.

Was he that desperate?

Sheppard looked around as best as he could without moving his head too much to see if either Beckett or one of the nurses were somewhere near, he could really use a few sips of cold water for his sore throat right about now. But good luck was definetly something he had seemed to lack his whole life, now not being an exception.

After he had convinced himself that neither doctor nor nurse were in the same room, his eyes fell on the sleeping figure next to his bed. He had forgotten that Teyla was there and considered waking her up and asking her to help.

Anyway, he didn't have the heart to disturb her. She probably didn't get any sleep with all the commotion around him, so the least he could do was to let her get some rest now.

Apart from that, he wasn't even sure if his voice was strong enough to rouse her. Considering the way he felt, he probably didn't have a voice anymore.

John's mind wandered to other occasions similar to this one in the past: He'd been cooped up in a hospital bed sick or injured many times before, but was absolutely sure that he had never ever felt so miserable and helpless in his life. His whole body ached and breathing was getting considerably hard again. Even he could make out the gurgling sound every time he inhaled which he was sure should be more often.

But every breath sent him straight to hell and back.

The freezing cold he had felt earlier was now replaced by a stinging heat and John felt the sweat dripping down the side of his face, soaking into the pillow.

The tiles on the ceiling he had counted so many times were beginning to spin viciously, making him dizzy and nauseous. To his remorse, he could also feel another coughing fit coming on.

Although Sheppard closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing more slowly, he couldn't by all means prevent the coughing fit from sending him into pure agony once again. It felt as if his body was trying to cough up his lungs and the pain he experienced was undescribeable.

Although it was a rather short fit, it was painful enough to send John into unconsciousness. The last thing he noticed before succumbing to the darkness was the unmistakeably metallic taste in his mouth.

But he was already too far gone to care.

OOo

The blissful darkness didn't last for a very long time, though. The coughing fits continued to wreak havoc with his body in his sleep and John was mercilessly pulled back to consciousness only minutes later by a very severe one.

He was choking on the blood in his throat and desperately tried to fill his oxygen-deprived lungs with air, not having much success. 'Not again.' He thought.

John felt himself panicking again and only vaguely noticed that Teyla had woken up and was by his side in an instant. She was trying to help him calm down, but didn't have any luck. He continued struggling for a few more minutes, but it wasn't long until his strengh gave out. Due to the lack of oxygen, Sheppard was barely aware of Teyla's desperate attempts to get through to him.

It could have been coincidence or maybe it was fate, but out of all the things Teyla had said to him, in his delirious state he was only able to make out three words: "I….need you."

And he almost felt Teyla's despair while she yelled at him not to leave her.

John gathered the very last remaining bit of strength and weakly turned his head to face Teyla. He was now more lucid than he had been in the last two days combined, because he knew he had to do something, had to show her how much she meant to him before it was too late and he'd never have that chance again.

He signaled Teyla to come closer, because he was afraid that his voice was so weak, she'd overhear what he had to say.

The Athosian immediately understood and bent down, her ear almost touching his lips.

"…need….you….too."

Sheppard managed to croak out the words, but it cost him a lot of effort, _too much_ effort. His adrenalin rush quickly faded and left him on the brink of unconsciousness, his last thought being that he would never see her beautiful face again.

He had given up on trying to draw breath by now and looked at her one last time before he closed his eyes.

OOo

_**A few hours later…**_

Carson Beckett had not left his patient's side for the past two hours.

He was checking IV's and the ventilator settings, adjusting blanket or pillows and wiping the Colonel's sweaty forehead, but mostly just sitting there trying to think of any treatment that might help to improve Sheppard's condition.

However, he could sit there thinking the whole day, it didn't change the fact that he was out of options. And he knew it too, but being the ever cheerful optimist everyone thought he was, the Doctor just had a hard time accepting it.

He had seen so many cases of pneumonia before, but never one that was processing this fast, even with a weakened immune system. He wondered if it was somehow related to the Ancient Gene.

Carson got up from his chair and walked over to the entrance door when he heard voices approaching, soon followed by a cheerful laughter that was unmistakably Elizabeth's.

Her smile quickly faded when they entered the infirmary and saw the serious look in their Doctor's eyes. "Carson?" she asked carefully, clearly being afraid of what he had to say.

The Doctor took a moment to sort out his feelings and sighted.

"The Colonel's condition didn't improve as I hoped it would. I had to put him on a ventilator during the night and it's not looking very promising." He explained rationally, earning puzzled looks from both Elizabeth and Rodney.

"Hey, hey, hey, Hold on here, Carson… Didn't you say he was over the worst of it just last night?" Rodney asked sceptically.

"Aye….That's what I thought, but his lungs filled up with blood again very quickly, the poor lad nearly suffocated on me."

"Oh my God…" was all Elizabeth was able to say. She wasn't sure how much more bad news she could take and even more importantly, how much more the Colonel could take.

"Can we see him?" she added.

"Of course…..but don't be surprised at how ill he looks, the last episode drained him completely and his fever is sky high again…" Carson knew from experience that nobody could be prepared for this. Seeing someone close to them depending entirely on machines to survive painfully reminded them how fragile human life really was.

OOo

Since Teyla's bed was next to Sheppard's and closer to the door, the trio had to pass hers before they got to his. But the Athosian seemed to be sound asleep.. Rodney looked questionly at Dr. Beckett.

"Oh, I've given her something to help her sleep, poor thing was on the edge of a break down after this.. She'll be out for a while." he explained before they came to a stop at the Colonel's bed.

oOo

Elizabeth was so shocked at how frail Sheppard looked, she found herself holding onto Rodney for support, hot tears already forming in her eyes. This wasn't right, John had always been the strong one, the one person she could always trust and lean on when she needed support and now he didn't even have the strength to breathe on his own.

After she was over the first shock, she walked over to the bed and touched John's forehead, wiping some sweaty hair out of his face. The unnatural heat eminating from his body didn't go unnoticed.

"He's burning up, Carson. Can't you do anything for him?" she asked looking back at the Doctor.

"I'm doin' what I can Elizabeth…" Carson snapped. He understood their worry, but he was on edge himself.

"Isn't there some miracle ancient cure against pneumonia? I'm sure they had it too, do you want me to go check? I'll go check in the database…" Rodney offered hysterically, already turning around to leave.

Carson was about to stop him to tell him he'd already checked the ancient medical database twice, but he knew it would give McKay some comfort to stay busy, having the feeling to do something that might help the Colonel.

Carson wished he could say the same about himself, but he was beginning to think that there was nothing he or anyone could do to help the Colonel. He was beginning to think that Sheppard might not be able to get through this alive this time. Where was that guardian angel when he needed it?

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_**Ok, the next chapter will be up next weekend, promise… **_

_**Review till your fingers start smoking g**_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Oh no, I didn't keep my promise to update on the weekend…**

**I'm really sorry, RL just sucks right now, taking a lot more time than I thought it would. Anyway, we have a holiday today, so it's still kind of weekend here**

**Enjoy!**

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John's condition didn't change much over the next few days.

His fever would go down occasionally, only to spike again a few hours after Carson had convinced himself to take off the cooling blanket, forcing him to put it back on him.

The Colonel's breathing hadn't improved either and he had not shown any signs of waking up yet. Carson's worst fear that his patient had slipped into a coma had proved true.

oOo

As expected, Rodney hadn't found anything helpful in the Ancient Database and was now taking turns on Sheppard's bed with Ronon, Elizabeth and Teyla who had been released the day after Carson had to hook the Colonel up to the ventilator.

Carson had told them to talk to John, to let him know that he wasn't alone, even if he wasn't responding.

Almost every single person on the base had been to the infirmary wanting to visit their military commander as soon as they heard how serious his condition was, but Beckett only allowed his team members and Elizabeth to sit with him. He knew that Sheppard wouldn't want all these people to see him like this and he always respected his patient's wishes.

However, the worst thing about the whole situation was that there was no way to tell if Sheppard had indeed suffered from any irreparable brain damage.

Carson knew that John had been without oxygen for some time, he just wasn't sure for how long exactly and he wouldn't find out if it had done any harm until Sheppard woke up from his coma.

_Coma_ – Carson hated that word.

It was the most unpredictable and uncertain thing in medical science, because it was impossible to foresee when and in what condition the patient would wake up again – if they ever woke up at all. Some patients lay there unresponsive for several years, only to die of an infection or old age sooner or later.

And it was particularly hard on the families and loved ones, too. They couldn't find closure and didn't have the luxury to make peace with the situation, often clinging onto the last thread of hope for years, unable to move on with their lives.

Carson sighed. In the last few days he had spent hours and hours hovering at the Colonel's bed, watching him and waiting for any sign of consciousness. He was worn out to the bone, physically and emotionally.

"Come on, lad…You really need to wake up now. For all our sakes." The Doctor urged tiredly.

There was no response.

Beckett didn't want to think about it, but he knew that he couldn't wait much longer before somebody had to decide whether to turn off the machines and let him rest in peace. He knew that the Colonel would never want to live like this, but that didn't make it any easier to accept.

Who would decide, anyway? Sheppard had no family here.

Although Sheppard would never admit to it, Rodney was probably the best friend he had in Atlantis, but Elizabeth was a very close friend, too and the leader of the expedition…

And what about Teyla?

The more Carson thought about this, the more he got the feeling that this was a dead end. No matter who would end up deciding, it'd probably be one of the hardest choices they would ever have to make in their lives.

OOo

Carson shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts. They weren't there yet, there was still hope and as the Doctor, he couldn't give up!

"Doctor Beckett?" he heard somebody say and noticed that the same person was also gently shaking his shoulder. He turned around to meet Teyla's worried glance.

She looked like she had been standing there, trying to talk to him for a while. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Aye, aye… Guess I was just lost in thoughts, sorry love.." he stated tiredly.

Teyla kept looking at him critically: "You look tired, Doctor Beckett. Maybe you should go to your room and rest for a short while… I will stay with John." She offered, temporarily shifting her attention to her unconscious friend.

"There's no change….. I just don't know what to do anymore, Teyla." Beckett added sadly.

He felt so guilty and exhausted, almost desperate.

Teyla reassuringly placed her hand on his shoulder. "You told me that all we can do is wait. John is strong… I still have faith in him. We just need to give him more time." She said, but the uncertainty in her voice didn't go unnoticed.

"You should really rest now, Doctor Beckett.." Teyla added.

Carson nodded. He knew that he was no help to Sheppard in his current state, but somehow doubted that he would be able to get any of the much needed sleep.

"Aye, I think I should do that." He said and slowly got up from the chair. His left leg had fallen asleep. " I'll be next door. If you need me, just yell." He instructed her.

"But Doctor Beckett… I really think you should…" Teyla started, but was cut off.

"I'll be next door!" Carson added forcefully. He felt better when he knew that he was in reach in case of any complications. He had been too late once, it wouldn't happen again.

Teyla nodded and sat down in the same chair Beckett had used. It was still warm.

oOo

Carson really liked Teyla. She was a sweet and easy-going woman and on the contrary to some other people here in Atlantis, she knew exactly when to stop.

OoO

Teyla knew she should leave the Doctor alone now. He would know what was right and she actually felt more comfortable knowing that Carson was just next door.

She had spent all her free time at the Colonel's bed since she'd been released. There was no gate travel at the moment, at least not for her and the rest of the team. She did miss going off world, but wasn't willing to go without John.

As long as her every-day-activities were put on hold, she did not have to think about the possibility that the Colonel might never wake up again. She just couldn't imagine a life in Atlantis without him. He was the reason she was here, _he was _Atlantis for her.

Teyla took his limp hand in hers and gently talked to him, as she always did. Doctor Beckett had told her that there was a very real possibility that John could hear what she said and she wanted him to know that she was there and that he was greatly missed.

The first two days, she had found the loud hissing noises of the ventilator very disturbing, but it did not bother her anymore. She had gotten used to it and as hard as it was to admit, it was keeping him alive.

The first thing she always did was to tell John about her day.

She had been to the main land and told him that Jinto was very concerned about him. It took her and Halling a lot of effort to keep him from clinging onto her when she was ready to leave. "Everybody is concerned about you and everybody misses you, John. Please, come back." She said sadly and squeezed his hand, hoping he would finally show a sign that he could hear her.

But again there was nothing. "I just wish you would wake up, John."

oOo

After a few hours, Teyla couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. She leaned down and rested her upper body on Sheppard's bed, never letting go of his hand and felt her eyelids droop immediately. It had been a long day and it was very late already.

She had only planned to come by to say good night, but when she saw how exhausted their Doctor was and that he desperately needed a break,s he did not have the heart to leave and had promised him to stay with John.

OOo

Teyla wasn't sure what had woken her up, but she thought she had felt something brush against her hand. Due to the ever present threat of the Wraith, she had been a very light sleeper all her life and she was sure she had felt something. But when she turned around to see if somebody was there, she couldn't find anybody in the room. It was still dark.

Teyla shrugged and settled back on the bed. It must have been her imagination…

Only a few seconds later, she felt it again..

It took her a moment to realize that something squeezed her left hand, the hand she had held John's hand with..

John's hand? Could it be possible?

Teyla jumped out of the chair and frantically reached for the light switch, knocking over the glass of water on the night stand in the process. It made a loud clattering sound when it connected with the floor, but Teyla didn't even take notice in that. She took John's hand in hers again and squeezed it gently.

"John? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand." She pleaded and waited for any reaction. And indeed, she felt his hand squeeze hers weakly.

Teyla resisted the urge to jump up and scream in joy and turned her attention to John's face. His eyes were still closed, but she could clearly see the movement under his eyelids. She lovingly caressed his forehead.

"Can you open your eyes for me, John?" She saw the movements of his eyes grow heavier, but it took Sheppard a few moments to move his eyelids.

He could barely open them about half way and it was obvious that it took him a lot of effort, but it seemed like the most beautiful thing Teyla had ever seen in her life.

It meant that he was alive! He was still there!

OOo

"Teyla? Wha' happened? I heard…."

Beckett, having heard the glass shattering, hurried through the door and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that Teyla seemed to be talking anxiously to the Colonel, whose eyes were half open.

Sheppard was finally awake!

"Oh, thank God! Step aside, love.. Let me take a look at him." He urged and Teyla quickly did as she was told.

Everything would be alright…

Carson took a moment to watch the Colonel blink slowly before he took out his penlight and shone it in his patient's eyes.

"Pupils are responsive.. Very good, lad." He said with a smile. But Sheppard started moving around restlessly. He tried to focus on Beckett and weakly lifted his hand, going in the direction of his face.. Carson realized what was bothering his patient and gently took his hand away from his face.

"Easy, lad. You have a tube in your throat to help you breathe."

Sheppard looked at his Doctor pleadingly and lifted his hand off the blanket again.

"I know it is uncomfortable, son, but it has to stay for now."

Beckett knew _how_ uncomfortable it was to have a tube down your throat. Patients had told him several times that it felt like they were suffocating, the breathing reflex only making it worse. He didn't have to think about it for long, took a syringe out of his pocket and emptied its contents into John's IV line.

"This'll help you sleep and hopefully next time you'll wake up, we can remove that ugly tube." He said reassuringly while the Colonel's eyes already drifted shut again.

OOo

After he had checked his patient's vitals, Carson turned around and smiled at Teyla, earning an even wider smile from her.

"It's gonna be a very long and painful way to recovery, but I think he's gonna be alright." He said happily and was surprised when Teyla gave him a joyous hug in return.

He hoped that Sheppard would really be alright this time, but his worsening condition had taken him by surprise too often, so he made a mental note that he would have to be overly careful until the Colonel was 100 percent healthy again, whether his patient liked it or not.

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**Carson being overly careful? Poor Sheppard, that's gonna be a hard and annoying way to recovery for him… But painful too, I assure you! If you don't have enough yet, be sure to stop by for some more whump in the next chapter!**

**BTW: You didn't really think I would kill Shep, did you?**


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Well, here is the next chapter, I am really sorry it took me a week again, but I'll try to post the next one sooner…**_

_**Don't forget to review! I love each and every one of you!**_

_**All I can say for this chapter is: POOR SHEPPARD!**_

* * *

Rodney came strolling into the infirmary, hands in his pockets. He had gone over the Medical Database four times and had finally given up. Reluctantly, he had come to the conclusion that either the Ancients didn't have pneumonia back then or they didn't think their knowledge about it was worth mentioning. 

No matter which explanation was accurate, Rodney hated the fact that he was unable to do anything except sit at the Colonel's bed and talk to him. He normally had no problem talking, but was also used to people actually paying attention to him. As much as he knew that he annoyed a lot of people, sometimes even doing it on purpose, but when it came down to it, what he had to say was usually important and well accepted.

Sheppard, on the other hand, was unconscious. Talking to an unconscious person was like talking to a wall and McKay wasn't good at it. On the other hand, he felt like he owed the Colonel to keep him company. After all, he was the reason his friend was in this state right now, no matter what everybody tried to tell him.

OOo

Rodney found Carson standing at the Colonel's bed, as usual adding something to his chart.

"Hey, Carson. What's up?" he asked light-heartedly, but only received an annoyed look from the Doctor before he continued writing.

Rodney tried to get a glance of the chart, but Carson turned away from him, blocking his view. Not that he would have been able to read anything anyway - Doctor's handwriting. It was easier to figure out ancient cave drawings.

"Oh come on, Carson. I just want to see what you're writing in your voodoo chart."

"I swear, if you say voodoo once again, I'll use the biggest needle I can find next time you need a shot. And let me tell you something: The Ancients had pretty big needles." Carson chuckled when he saw Rodney's eyes widen.

"Stay away from me." McKay said, remembering the needle the Doctor had used on Sheppard and going back one step. When Carson saw his horrified expression, he couldn't hold himself back any longer and burst out laughing.

Rodney's mouth dropped open. How could the Doctor laugh in a situation like this? When Sheppard was lying in a bed half dead just a few feet away. He wondered if Carson was already moving on, forgetting all about the Colonel.

"And some people think I'm not sensitive…" he muttered under his breath, but still loud enough for Carson to hear.

"Relax, Rodney. I'm tryin' to teach you that this kinda stuff is confidential. Didn't your mother teach you stuff like that?"

"And I'm just trying to find out how my best friend is doing…" Rodney answered defensively, ignoring the comment about his mother.

Carson sighted. This man was unbelievable. And since when was that _best_ friends? "Well, why don't you ask me then?" he added.

"Urgh….. Guess I could do that…" he paused, expecting Carson to start explaining, but the Doctor was still staring at him as if he was waiting for something.

"How is Colonel Sheppard?" Rodney asked innocently.

"Well, his fever is still high and his blood pressure could be better, but he did wake up last night and I am confident…"

"He did what?" Rodney interrupted, not sure whether he was imagining things or if Beckett had really just told him that Sheppard had woken up.

"He woke up when Teyla talked to him." Carson replied calmly.

McKay was still puzzled: "And.. you're just telling me that as though it was nothing out of the ordinary. The Colonel woke up from a coma, for gods sakes! Why didn't you call me? Why isn't he awake now? Is his brain still there?" McKay eventually gave the Doctor a chance to answer his questions.

"Yes, Rodney. His brain is still there… I didn't notify you because it was very late and I didn't want to…." Carson was interrupted by the loud noise of the heart monitor alarm and turned around to check what was wrong with it, only to see his patient awake and starting to get very agitated.

Sheppard was shifting around restlessly under his covers and his right hand was on the breathing tube, pulling at it. His eyes were wide open in shock. Carson cursed at himself for not having noticed that Sheppard was awake earlier and quickly grabbed the Colonel's hand, pulling it away from the tube, meeting only little resistance from his weak patient.

He wasn't really surprised. Patients often acted like that when they woke up to the ventilator stuck in their throat and Sheppard had had a similar reaction last night.

"Rodney, come over here and hold his hands down, please." He instructed Rodney who had been standing next to him helplessly.

With Rodney's help, Beckett was able to check ventilator and tubing and was relieved that Sheppard didn't seem to have done any damage. However, his heart rate was still too high and the alarm was still beeping loudly.

The Doctor leaned down to catch his patient's attention:

"You have to calm down, Colonel." he said, but John weakly shook his head.

"I'm sorry, son. I can't take it out just yet, your lungs still need a wee bit more time… I'll give you something to put you to sleep and maybe we can start weanin' you off tomorrow." He made it sound like a promise. Beckett really hoped that Sheppard's condition would have improved enough to wean him off by then. He didn't want to traumatize his patient any more than necessary.

Carson ignored the fact that the Colonel still shook his head weakly, took the syringe that he had put on the night stand earlier and injected it into his IV line. Sheppard was fast asleep within seconds.

"You can let go now, lad." Carson noticed that Rodney was still clinging onto Sheppard's hands.

"Yeah, right…. Uhm… That was pretty intense." He replied.

"Aye, I know. But it is not uncommon."

"Well, can't you just take the tube out, now that he is awake?" McKay asked puzzled.

"I'm afraid not. He has regained consciousness a few times, yes.. But his condition only improved slightly. I don't wanna put his lungs through too much strain until they're ready and risk another set back."

McKay nodded. He knew that Carson only wanted the best for his patient, but he prayed not to be here next time Sheppard woke up. It was extremely unsettling for him to see his friend in so much discomfort and pain. On the other hand, he had just learned that Sheppard had come out of his coma without brain damage and that was more important than anything else.

"Alright… So when do you think he'll be ready?"

"That's a difficult question. And I can't just take it out, his lungs slowly have to get used to breathing on their own again. He'll probably be under for the next 12 - 14 hours, but I hope I can start to lower the oxygen support tomorrow and we'll see how he does."

"Ok, well then I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Carson." Rodney replied, preparing to leave.

"Aye, see you tomorrow, Rodney." Carson smiled.

OOo

Teyla and Ronon had come and gone during the day, but Sheppard's sedative hadn't worn off, so he had remained unconscious the whole time.

Elizabeth had been thrilled to hear that Sheppard had come out of the coma and Carson had had trouble convincing her that she needed some rest, too. She wanted to be there the next time Sheppard woke up to see for herself that he was alright. However, after Carson had promised her that he would call as soon as the Colonel was conscious, no matter what time, she agreed to go to the mess hall to get something to eat and to her quarters for some rest afterwards.

OOo

After Elizabeth had left and he had made sure that everything was properly attached, Carson went to his office to work on some after- mission charts of one of the recon teams. It was the first time he actually sat down all day. He had never thought that he would be so busy in Atlantis, but somebody seemed to be sick or injured constantly.

Carson did love his profession, as a matter of fact very much, but patients like John Sheppard would surely give him gray hairs before his time. That came with the job…

He straightened himself and tried to concentrate on his work, but his mind kept wandering off. Carson remembered how much pain he had caused the Colonel in the last week. No wonder Sheppard seemed to have a natural reluctancy to set foot into the infirmary.

He thought about checking on his patient again, but his watch told him that he should still be asleep for a few more hours, so he decided not to disturb him and got back to his charts.

OOo

About 50 minutes later, the all too familiar sound of machines beeping loudly made Carson drop the chart he was working on. He hurried to the Colonel's bed as fast as he could, stumbling over the chart he had thrown there earlier on the way and falling flat on his face.

It took him a few moments to recover from the fall, but he got back up groaning, the loud noises reminding him of the current situation. Beckett noticed somebody running in his direction and blinked twice to clear his vision. He soon made out the form of Elizabeth Weir.

Apparently, she had decided to come check on John one last time for today, but what she found when she happily stepped through the infirmary door made her stop dead in her tracks.

oOo

The majority of machines were protesting loudly and Carson was on the ground a few feet away from his office door. He was just slowly trying to get up when Elizabeth noticed that it was the machines on John's bedside that were making all the noise.

The Colonel was thrashing around in his bed and she could make out some blood red marks on the blanket. Only when she got closer did Elizabeth see that Sheppard's eyes were wide open in shock again and his face was all flushed. Elizabeth briefly wondered if John had had a nightmare, but when she saw the breathing tube hanging down the side of his bed, she realized what the Colonel must have done.

"Oh my God." She paused, not knowing what to do.

"Carson!" she yelled in his direction, but the Doctor had already reached them. He picked up the breathing tube and his look was one of disbelief and shock.

"Oh no, what have you done now, Son?"

Sheppard was still thrashing around, trying to catch his breath. But his lips were already turning blue and the blood on the sheets let Carson know that the Colonel hadn't been gentle.

"….hurts…" Sheppard mumbled, looking pleadingly at Beckett.

"I know, Son.. You shouldn't have done that. You weren't ready." He said, preparing the oxygen mask to give his patient the much needed aid.

He was torn about what to do next. It didn't look like Sheppard would be able to get enough oxygen on his own. Whether it was because his lungs weren't ready or because his throat was swelling up after the harsh treatment, he didn't know.

"He can't breathe, Carson, don't you see? Just do something." Elizabeth demanded nervously.

Elizabeth was right. He needed to do something and soon, the oxygen mask wasn't enough and the Colonel's struggles had almost died down. His eyes were closed and he was ghostly pale, his lips a darker shade of blue.

Carson opened Sheppard's mouth to get a clear view of the damage he had caused to his throat and was not happy with the result.

"His windpipe is a bloody mess, I'll never be able to establish an airway, I can't see anything." He said more to himself.

Then he turned around to face Elizabeth.

"I have no choice.." he paused "Elizabeth, I need you to go and get Sarah, she should be right next door in the laboratory… I have to do a tracheotomy."

Dr. Weir immediately realized that they had no time to lose, turned on her heels and ran to find the nurse as fast as she could.

**The End!**

Just kidding, guys LOL

* * *

**_Boy, have I missed these cliffhangers, haven't you?_**

_**I know it doesn't look like it, but Shep will get better, I promise.**_

_**And we'll deal with how he feels in the next chapter, I think I have not paid him the attention he deserves…**_

_**This story will have an end some day….**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Yay, I managed to update sooner, as I promised! I am such a good girl LOL**_

_**Thanks for all the nice reviews, especially to those who review to every chapter, you guys are great! (Linzi, your reviews are always so encouraging/ hug)**_

_**This chapter is not that long , but I felt I needed to lighten up the mood a little, I realized the fic was really getting darker than I intended. **_

_**But don't worry, there's still gonna be lots of whumping, but I think Shep needs a little break.**_

_**So, have fun reading, and don't forget to hit the little 'review'-button…**_

* * *

The procedure itself was routine, but the fact that it was Colonel Sheppard he was working on and thinking about the events that had led to his current condition, Carson's hands were shaky. However, being the professional Doctor that he was, he didn't let his feelings get in the way too much and found the spot on Sheppard's throat he had to cut into right away. He made the tiny cut and carefully pushed in the breathing tube. 

It didn't take long until the Colonel was hooked up to the ventilator again. Carson stayed a few more minutes to make sure that enough oxygen was coming through and was quickly convinced by the fact that Sheppard's lips began to turn back to their natural pink color.

Carson sighed. With the sudden turn of events, to make sure that his patient didn't hurt himself any further, he saw no other option but to put him in mild restrains. And he was sure the Colonel wouldn't like it one bit the next time he came to.

However, his health was more important right now.

He told his nurse Sarah to get the restraints and reluctantly secured them around his wrists.

Ooo

_**One hour later**_

Teyla walked into the briefing room. All the other members of her team, including Carson were already seated around the table.

She noticed that the Doctor looked extremely exhausted and wondered if he had gotten any sleep in the last three days.

"Teyla, please sit down." Elizabeth said and poured some more coffee into her cup which prompted Rodney to hold out his own empty cup.

"I must apologize if I am late. I was in the gym when you called the meeting."

"No, no, no. That's alright, don't worry." Dr. Weir ensured her.

"Let's get to the point right away. You have all been updated on the Colonel's current condition and Carson ensures me that there is nothing to worry about, at least not more than before." She paused "However, I think it's time that we get on with our lives. I am confident that Colonel Sheppard will be back on his feet before we know it and he will not be happy if we haven't done anything but sit at his bedside in the meantime…"

Teyla looked at the empty seat next to hers. Without the Colonel, their team wasn't complete and she saw in the faces of Ronon and Rodney that they had similar thoughts.

"…It is a simple trading mission, nothing spectacular." Elizabeth shifted her attention to Carson who looked like he wasn't even listening. He was probably wondering why Elizabeth had asked him to come to the briefing.

"And Carson, I want you to go with them, you need to get out of the infirmary for a few hours."

That had caught Carson's attention. "I can't leave the Colonel alone now." He stated puzzled, almost angry.

"You are not the only Doctor here, Carson and you need to get your mind off of this for a while. Trust me, it'll only be for the better." She tried to persuade him.

"I am not going!" Beckett replied stubbornly and got up from his chair.

"I'm not asking, Carson." Elizabeth answered seriously. She had obviously expected this reaction, and Teyla found herself agreeing with her.The Doctor needed to get out and draw some strength. She was sure he'd feel better afterwards, but could also understand his hesitance.

"Fine!" he hissed angrily.

Elizabeth turned back to the team. "You are leaving in 30 minutes, gear up."

Her expression hadn't changed during the whole briefing. Teyla knew as a leader, she had to be strong and tell her people what to do in a difficult situation, even if it wasn't easy on her, either.

All of them stood up and went for their rooms, Carson practically storming out, almost pushing Rodney out of the way. Despite the Doctor's bad mood and John's absence, Teyla was actually glad to have something to do. She had felt locked in in the last couple of days, her worry over John always present and was now looking forward to draw some fresh air again.

oOo

The first thing John noticed when he became aware of his surroundings was that the tube in his throat was gone and he didn't feel like somebody was strangling him anymore.

That had to have been the most horrid experience he had ever woken up to, except maybe that one time when he woke up in a cold cell in Afghanistan, alone and with a gun shot wound to his stomach.

However, his throat was still hurting a great deal, only topped by the throbbing sensation in his head. He didn't know if it was a very good idea to try opening his eyes, but he figured if he wanted some pain killers for his murder headache, he had to let Carson know that he was awake. And he'd definitely kill for some Advil right about now. To Sheppard's regret, nobody had thought about turning the lights off or at least down to a manageable level. On a reflex action, he tried to move his hand to shield his eyes from the bright light, but something was holding both hands down. Maybe he wasn't alone after all.

His eyes needed a few minutes to adjust, but when his vision became clearer, John saw that nobody else was in the infirmary. He was confused. What was wrong with his hands, then? He tried to move them again, but nothing happened.

Before his sluggish mind came up with a reasonable explanation, the worried face of Dr. Beckett appeared in his line of sight.

"Can ya hear me, Colonel?" he asked.

Sheppard tried to answer his question with a simple 'yes', but he was surprised that there was no sound coming out of his mouth. He also felt some pressure further down his throat and looked at Carson confusedly.

"No, Son, you can't talk. I had to do a tracheotomy to help you breathe." he explained in a concerned voice and noticed that Sheppard was unconsciously pulling at his restraints.

"Just hold on a second, I'm gonna take these off."

'I was in restraints? Why?' Sheppard thought. He tried to remember what had happened earlier, but his mind was all fuzzy. The last thing he remembered clearly was Carson promising him to take out the tube next time he was awake..

The tube was gone – but only to be replaced by another one at a different place. Great! As soon as his hands were free, he tried to lift them up, but found himself so weak, he could barely move them.

"Listen, son. You can't talk cause your vocal cords are affected by the tube, but you can whisper… I need you to tell me if anything hurts." The Doctor explained slowly.

John closed his eyes and tried to focus. It took him a moment to gather enough strength to answer the question.

"…head…ache." He mastered, barely audible.

"Ok, I'm gonna give you something for the pain in a minute. I need to check your vitals and temperature first, alright?"

John nodded. He realized that he was cold, but not as bad as before. Beckett must have noticed that he was shivering, because he pulled the covers up to his shoulders after he was done with his exam and added the pain killer to his IV. Sheppard immediately felt the effects as his headache became manageable.

"What.. happened?" he whispered weakly, referring both to the tracheotomy and the restraints. Beckett looked torn for a minute, as if he wasn't sure what to tell him.

"Well…. There was a little incident…" he started, but didn't go on any further, obviously unsure of what to say.

"Carson…" Sheppard whispered, shooting him the most threatening look he could manage, which, in his condition, probably wasn't very threatening at all. But he needed to know why the Doctor had thought that tying him up like a criminal was the best action to take.

"You pulled out the breathing tube and almost suffocated on me – again! Your throat was a bloody mess, so I had to do a tracheotomy."

"Oh…" John answered.

"Yes OH, Colonel." The Doctor was getting mad again. "I swear, if you ever do that again, I will strangle you with my own hands. Don't you ever stop to think, before you do something that stupid?"

"…sorry.." Sheppard didn't remember anything about that and he agreed that it was a stupid thing to do, but he also didn't know what mental state he'd been in. Probably did it in his sleep, for all he knew.

Beckett's face softened. "Alright, lad. If you promise me not to do such a foolish thing ever again, I'll leave the restraints off for now." He offered and John was glad to accept.

"Promise…" he whispered. He was starting to realize that this was much better than the tube in his throat. He hardly felt it at all, just a little pressure and he could even talk, if only whisper. That was definetly a plus.

" I have some good news, Colonel." Beckett interrupted his thoughts "Your temperature has fallen a wee bit and things are finally startin' to look up." He stated with a smile.

John would have returned his smile, but felt his strength quickly failing and his eyelids getting heavy. If he was really finally on the way to recovery, it would be a long, long way. He was sure of that. However, after weeks of set backs, he was more than ready to take that road.

* * *

**_Soo, how'd you like it, guys?_**

_**The thing Shep remembered about Afghanistan was made up, no spoilers of any sort...**_

_**If you think I'm dragging on too long, just tell me! I'm trying to decide if I should end this one soon, or keep going for a little bit…**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Thank you, everybody for the unbelievable reviews. They really make my day and I'm not just saying that! I mean it! Keep them goin'...**_

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John Sheppard woke up to a throbbing headache. It felt like someone was repeatedly using his skull as a soccer ball and his eyes were stinging like somebody had used pepper spray on him. 

After a moment of pure confusion, he realized that he was still in the infirmary and the hissing noises of the ventilator let him know that not much time had passed since he last talked to Beckett. At least, the Doctor had kept his promise and hadn't put those disturbing restrains back on when he was asleep. After his vision had cleared a little, he noticed that Teyla was sitting on a chair next to his bed, sound asleep in what looked like a very uncomfortable position. She was also holding his right hand.

John remained still for a few more minutes, as he didn't want to disturb Teyla. Even in her sleep, she looked exhausted, her face showing dark circles under her eyes and deep lines of worry on her forehead which he was sure to be the cause of.

As he was watching Teyla, his headache seemed to come down to a manageable level and he was about to fall asleep again, when he heard hurried footsteps coming their way.

It was scary that he had been in here so long, he was able to tell who it was just by the way they walked. He definetly needed to cut his infirmary time considerably in the future.

OOo

Dr. Beckett had had enough. He wouldn't allow Teyla to stay on that chair for one more minute, even if she begged him to. She hadn't even gotten something to eat or a shower after they got back from their mission 10 hours ago and had never left the Colonel's bedside since. She said she needed to stay a little, she'd owe that to John and to herself, but when Carson noticed her slumped over asleep on her chair, he decided to end this and send her to her quarters to get some rest.

When Carson reached the bed, he gently shook Teyla's shoulders.

"Wake up, Love."

Teyla's head snapped open and she instinctly grabbed her 9 millimeter, shot up and held the poor Doctor at gunpoint for a few seconds. After she realized where she was and who she was pointing her gun at, she immediately let go off the Doctor and put her gun back in the holster.

"I am sorry, Doctor Beckett. I did not mean to scare you…" she apologized, obviously feeling embarrassed.

"Aye, I'll try to remember never to wake you up like that again." He replied, but Teyla wasn't listening to him. She seemed to focus her attention on something behind him.

Carson turned around to see what she was staring at and looked right into the eyes of John Sheppard. The man was smiling and Carson wondered whether he had witnessed the whole encounter with Teyla.

"Oh, I see you're feelin' better, Colonel." He said, his voice falsely harsh.

Sheppard's smile slowly faded and he carefully shook his head. "No…you two…just…funny." He whispered, but closed his eyes as a wave of dizziness hit him, making him nauseous.

"Just ride it out, Lad. It'll be over in a second." Carson reassured him while he placed a hand on his shoulder supportively. Teyla also stepped closer and took John's hand again, stroking it lovingly. And just as the Doctor had promised, the nausea began to subside after a few minutes and John opened his eyes again, two sets of worried eyes greeting him.

"Is that better?" Carson asked and received a nod from his patient. A little color had returned to his cheeks and the Doctor gave him a moment to clear his vision before he asked the necessary question.

"Listen Colonel. I want to take you off the ventilator as soon as possible to not further damage your vocal cords… Do you think you're ready?" he asked concerned.

It was evident in his voice that he wasn't sure if it wasn't too early, but Sheppard wanted nothing more than to get rid of that thing. The noise was driving him crazy and he needed to feel like he regained a little control over his body and that was a good place to start. So he nodded in the most reassuring way he could manage.

"Do you really think he is ready, Doctor Beckett?" Teyla asked doubtfully. It was obvious that she thought otherwise, but John tugged at her hand before the Doctor had the chance to reply.

"Listen… I need….do.. this." He whispered with pleading eyes. Even in his condition, he could get anything from her just with one look and he knew it, too.

"Are you sure?" she asked again, still not fully convinced.

Carson decided to intervene now. He saw that the Colonel's strength was fading and it was better if he was awake when he removed the tube.

"Nothing will happen, Love. I'm here with him this time, remember?" he said, shooting a side glance at Sheppard.

Teyla sighed: "Very well." She answered and stepped back, allowing Carson to get everything ready without her being in the way.

"Alright, Lad. You don't have to do much at all, I'm just gonna pull the tube out while you hold your breath. It'll hurt a wee bit. After that, I'll put an oxygen mask on and I want you to try taking slow and shallow breaths at first, give your lungs some time to get used to breathing on their own again. We'll see how that goes…. Ready?"

Sheppard nodded again and closed his eyes to concentrate and prepare for the pain.

Carson didn't waste any more time and quickly but gently pulled out the tube, replacing its breathing aid with an oxygen mask.

Sheppard hadn't made a sound during the procedure, but the fact that his eyes were still shut tightly and the veins on his forehead became visible was enough to ensure Beckett and Teyla that he was in pain. Just as the Doctor expected, it took several moments before the pain had subsided enough for Sheppard to make his first attempt to breathe in.

The enormous effort a few simple breaths took out of him was clearly evident in Sheppard's face and Carson was afraid that his patient would lose consciousness before his breathing evened out and became easier. If that happened, he'd have to insert the tube again.

However, Sheppard's mind was set on accomplishing this simple task, no matter how much it hurt and how tired he was. He was desperate to get better and this was the first necessary step. He wasn't about to give up, only to be put back on the ventilator and have all this starting over again.

Sheppard got the impression that somebody was talking to him, but he couldn't really understand what they were saying, because his mind was fixed on getting more air into his lungs. And finally, after a few minutes and very close to him losing the battle and Carson putting him back on the vent, his breathing evened out and became less painful.

John briefly opened his eyes and even managed to form a faint smile under the mask before he eventually gave into the darkness that had been creeping up on him for the past minutes. However, it was a blissful darkness this time, not a threatening one.

OOo

"Puh, that went well." Carson said with a relieved smile and turned around to face Teyla who had been standing in the background the whole time. She still looked shell-shocked and not too happy.

"He is OK, Teyla. I promise you." The Doctor reassured her, but Teyla still seemed reluctant to believe.

"Yes, but it was very close. He just looks so exhausted." She argued with a calm voice, but stepped closer to move a sweaty strand of hair from the Colonel's forehead. "He still feels hot, too."

"Aye, and he probably will for a few more days, if not weeks. This was just the first step to recovery, Teyla. You gotta understand that he will not be back to normal tomorrow. He's still very weak, but one step towards recovery is one step more than in the last two and a half weeks…"

Teyla nodded. She understood why Dr. Beckett was so relieved, but her reluctance remained and she knew why every time she looked at John. He had lost weight and his color resembled that of the white pillow he rested his head on. There were still various machines attached to his body and his fever was still very high. The last few weeks with all that had gone wrong had clearly taken their toll on him.

"Now seriously, Love. I want you to go straight to your room to get some rest. He won't wake up for a few hours anyway and I am not watching this any longer." Carson ordered with a serious tone to his voice. He had misinterpreted Teyla's lack of response and thought she hadn't heard what he said due to her own exhaustion.

Teyla hesitated. She desperately wanted to stay with John to be there when he woke up, but now that her own adrenalin rush began to vanish, she felt exhausted and about ready to fall asleep on the spot. Carson saw her hesitation, but left no room for discussions. "That's an order, Teyla."

"Alright, I will go to my quarters." She gave in and put her forehead on Sheppard's to resemble the Athosian way of a hug. "Good luck, Colonel." She whispered before she headed out.

OOo

After Teyla was gone, Carson stitched and bandaged the wound on John's neck and gave his patient a quick exam to make sure that everything was alright. He was slightly concerned when the thermometer showed that Sheppard's temperature had risen again, but he also knew that it was probably due to the recent exertion. However, he decided to have someone stay at the Colonel's bed at all times to monitor his breathing and temperature.

"You are a handful, Colonel." He said quietly and put a cool cloth on his forehead.

"Just don't give me any more trouble, Son. I've really had enough of that lately."

After he had filled his nurse Sarah in about Sheppard's condition and had told her not to leave him out of sight, he retreated to his office to get some rest on his makeshift bed. He really needed some sleep, but didn't want to leave Sarah alone in the infirmary.

He tried to remember the last time he had slept in his own bed before he fell asleep.

OOo

Sheppard's throat felt like raw meat. To his remorse, this feeling was not exactly unfamiliar. He had been quite happy when he had fallen asleep earlier, because he was finally rid of the ventilator and things started to look up for him.

Now he was downright miserable. It hurt to breathe and he desperately wanted something to soothe his throat, but needed to open his eyes first to catch someone's attention. That, however, seemed to be more difficult than he imagined.

Why was it so freakin' hard to get his eyes to open and why was he feeling like he was in a hospital somewhere in the desert without air conditioning?

After he finally managed to open his eyes, he saw that a nurse was sitting in the chair next to his bed reading a book. When he groaned, she immediately dropped the book and ran away.

'No.' Sheppard thought. There went his chance to ease the pain in his throat or to turn the heat down a little.

Was he that scary?

Before he could further wonder why the nurse had taken off so fast, the all too familiar Scottish brogue was by his side bombarding him with questions. Since Sheppard's fuzzy mind didn't understand one question, he simply shook his head and succeeded in quieting the Doctor.

"Www..a…ter." he croaked out.

"Sorry, Lad. Ice chips will have to do for now." He replied slowly and removed the oxygen mask. He slipped a single ice chip between his dry lips.

The pain immediately began to ease and it even helped a little to cool him down.

"So, how am I doing?" Sheppard asked, his voice having recovered a little, but still scratchy and weak from disuse and a swollen throat.

Beckett sighed "To be honest, I had hoped your fever would be down by now." He answered with mixed emotions.

"Figured as much." The Colonel replied, disappointment edging his voice.

"But your breathing seems to be OK and I'm sure the fever will clear out eventually." Carson tried to lift his spirits. He needed his patient to be positive, that was a very important part in a successful recovery.

"Do you want me to give you something for the pain?" he asked, expecting the answer to be no.

But Sheppard nodded slightly, his eyes already closed. He couldn't even remember not feeling like crap or tired and wondered if he would ever be able to go on a mission again. For now, sitting upright under his own power seemed impossible for the foreseeable future, not to think about standing.

Whatever Beckett had injected into his IV, it not only took away the pain, but sent him into a deep dreamless sleep where all his worries and frustration were forgotten.

* * *

**_Wow, that was my longest chapter so far.._**

_**I can tell you this much: Sheppard's recovery will not be easy and he's gonna have to deal with a few problems on the way.**_

_**Poor, poor Carson!**_

_**Excited?**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Ok, I have been told that my description of the whole pneumonia- drowning in your own blood thing etc. wasn't exactly medically accurate and I want to apologize for that. I think (hope?) I have pointed out in earlier chapters that I am no doctor or nurse and my medical knowledge is limited to what I've seen on ER and what I know(or think I know).**_

_**Anyway, thank you togitnj for pointing that out to me and showing me a way to make it better. I'll try to change it in the next days, but I can't promise anything.**_

_**Enough of that - ENJOY!**_

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"Good to see you're feeling better, Sheppard!" Rodney practically shouted, not really helping John's headache any. He looked about as excited as he always got when he had discovered something new or solved a problem. John realized he really had had all his friends worrying over him, it almost made him feel guilty.

On the other hand, Rodney had been the cause he was so sick right now and although Sheppard didn't blame him, he thought it wouldn't hurt McKay to show some emotions every once in a while, maybe feel some guilt. Even Rodney was not unfailable.

However, it didn't change the fact that he felt like crap. His body stubbornly seemed to refuse to get better, his fever remained.

"Am I?" he asked, his voice still sounding very weak and annoyed. He didn't have the patience to deal with the over excited Scientist right now. Rodney's smile froze on his lips and his face fell. Not because of what Sheppard had said, but because of the way he had said it. He almost sounded depressed.

"Are you in pain? Do you want me to get Beckett?" he asked nervously.

"No, no, no. I'm fine."

Rodney was more than doubtful: "You just told me you weren't." he argued.

"Listen Rodney, you're just making my headache worse. Why don't you do me a favor and go bother somebody else? I'm sure you have some very important work to do." He spat.

Rodney looked like somebody had slapped him in the face and left without another word.

oOo

John didn't know why he was getting so angry all of a sudden, he knew that McKay only wanted to keep him company. But his whole situation frustrated him to no end. He hadn't set one foot out of the infirmary in 4 weeks and considering the way things looked now, he wouldn't for another few weeks.

However, as much as he pitied himself, he also knew that he was not exactly easy-going on the people around him right now... It was as easy as it gets. If he had to suffer, they had to suffer, he just couldn't help himself. In his opinion, he was entitled to be in a bad mood.

OOo

When Rodney entered Carson's office, the Doctor could tell by his impression that the visit didn't go well. And he wasn't surprised either.

" I see, you talked to Mr. Sunshine in there. Don't even try to blame it on me, I warned you!" he said. The Doctor had been reluctant to set foot into the infirmary himself, since he was verbally harassed this morning for no reason at all.

Beckett had warned Rodney that the Colonel's mood wasn't the best, but the Scientist had been so excited that Sheppard was off the ventilator, he hadn't paid attention to one word.

"I didn't know he could even be that mean. And why, anyway? Shouldn't he be glad that he is off the vent?" Rodney asked sadly. Beckett realized that whatever Sheppard had said, had really hurt Rodney more than he cared to admit.

"He is just frustrated. I wouldn't take him too seriously, Rodney. I'm sure whatever he said to you, he didn't mean it…" Carson tried to convince him, but McKay's expression didn't change.

"Well, I have things to do, Carson. I'll…. Catch up with you later?"

"Aye. Don't take it personally, Rodney. He is mad at everybody and then some right now."

McKay nodded. He knew he shouldn't be angry with Sheppard. If their roles were reversed, he'd probably be even more obnoxious. Cooped up in an infirmary bed for weeks would make everybody feel kind of 'edgy'.

Keeping that in mind, Rodney excused himself and left Carson's office through the back door.

OOo

'You're such an idiot!' Sheppard thought after Rodney had stormed out, heading for Beckett's office - or as Sheppard feared, anywhere that was far from this room. He would succeed in scaring everybody away and having to deal with this all by himself, but he was so sick of asking for help or people hovering over him. He craved to be alone for a few hours.

Before he could waste any more time drowning in self-pity, Dr. Beckett appeared next to his bed. He always found the perfect moment to interrupt.

"Colonel, I don't like it either, but I'm gonna have to check on you now. I promise I'll be as fast as I can." He said coldly. Noticing the indifferent voice, Sheppard realized that it really wasn't fair to treat his friends like that. They all only wanted to help him.

"I'm sorry, Doc. I know I'm a pain in the butt." He admitted guiltily. Carson's face immediately relaxed and his eyes lit up. His plan had worked.

"Aye, you are a handful, but you know what? It's OK, Son. I know this isn't easy for you. But it won't do you any good to be frustrated. It will just slow down your recovery. You gotta keep up the good spirits."

"It can't possibly go any slower than it does right now." he replied, his voice verging on desperate.

Beckett didn't reply, he was afraid that Sheppard would go back to his depressive state if they got into that. He put the thermometer in his patient's ear and waited. When it beeped, he looked at the result and put the thermometer back in his pocket. But his smile didn't go unnoticed.

"Doc?" Sheppard asked carefully, not daring to hope that his fever had finally gone down.

"Very good news. Down to 101.. And I'm sure if you keep smiling like that, it'll be gone in no time." It was indeed the first time in weeks that Carson had seen him smiling. And the Doctor was very relieved himself. When the antibiotics didn't seem to help at all, he had really started to worry.

"Ok, now honestly, Lad. How do you feel?"

Sheppard took a moment to sort out his feelings and realized that he wasn't even feeling that awful anymore. His headache was still there and he was still hot, but the good news instantly gave him some strength which make the pain seem more bearable.

"Better, actually. I can't believe I feel better!" he answered, almost jumping off the bed in joy.

"Slow now, Colonel.. I'm glad you're feelin' better, believe me. But it is very important that you take it slowly now. Don't rush it! You know what happened last time." he warned. A relapse at this stage was not uncommon with over-exertion, but would be critical in John's current mental state.

"I won't." John promised, although he almost felt like he was ready to jump walls again.

"Well, then why don't you lay back down and get some more rest?" Beckett suggested, pushing Sheppard back. The Colonel had excitedly roused to a sitting position, only now comprehending that it was the first time he had moved under his own power for some time.

"Whatever you say, Doc." He said, laying back down, a smile ever evident on his face. The last thing he needed now that he finally felt like a human being again was the Doctor fussing over him.

"Alright, I have some charts to work on, Colonel. I removed the feeding tube yesterday and I'm sure you're about starvin' by now. I'll have Sarah bring you something to eat later and leave you to rest now." Carson offered, although he hadn't finished the exam. But he could tell that his patient longed for some privacy and he wasn't about to deny him that wish.

He grabbed the thermometer, smiled at Sheppard and pulled the curtain around his bed close. Considering that he had only taken him off the ventilator yesterday, his condition was improving faster than the Doctor could have wished for. Although he was sure that it still wasn't fast enough for Sheppard. As soon as he had calmed down a bit, he'd feel very weak again, which was surely followed by some more bitching and sour mood.

OOo

John Sheppard was glad that Carson had had the decency to grant him some privacy for a change, but he was quickly getting tired again and didn't know what to do with himself. Just out of boredom, he reached for the glass of water that was sitting on his night stand and slowly drank it all.

It didn't take 2 minutes before John felt the need to use the bathroom. He was about to call for Beckett when he remembered that he hadn't been able to go to the bathroom the last few days, so he lifted up his blanket to find what he hadn't hoped for, but expected – a catheter.

Sheppard sighted. He hated those things! They were so uncomfortable, not to mention the embarrassment he always felt because he wasn't even well enough to use the bathroom. And they tend to make you feel very dirty, too.

By the mention of bathrooms, an idea formed in John's head. He _was_feeling better, but was also sure that he'd feel even more better when he could get rid of the ever present horrible smell of disinfectants and sweat. And he was sure his hair could use a shower, too. John really considered calling Carson, but knew that the Doctor would never let him get up yet and he honestly felt he had enough strength to handle it alone. He could sneak out, take a shower, feel a whole lot better, get back into bed and Beckett would never notice.

Sheppard was sure it was a good idea – until his shaky legs were supposed to carry his whole weight all the way to the bathroom. He didn't get very far…

Sitting up hadn't been a problem. It only took Sheppard a few seconds to clear the fog in his head and from his vision. Sure, they whole process was proceeding very slowly, but he was moving alright.

When his feet touched the infirmary floor, the Colonel was surprised at how cold it was. He thought that he should probably hurry to prevent his toes from getting frostbite.

That in mind, Sheppard picked up the catheter with his right hand and held onto his IV pole for support with the other.

It took him a few minutes to get into a standing position, and although he put most of his weight on the IV line – it was a miracle it didn't break - his legs felt like jello and he swayed slightly. Probably from the after effects of the pneumonia, he was short of breath very soon, a feeling of dizziness and nausea also slowly creeping up on him.

But he had come so far, he wasn't about to give up now. Once he was in the bathroom, he could sit down on the shower seat. However, when he tried to make the first step, his legs couldn't support the weight any longer and his knees buckled. John crumpled to the floor with a groan, pulling the curtain – which he had desperately tried to hold onto – down with him.

As if that wasn't bad enough, his upper body connected with the heart monitor that was still standing there and he heard something crack even before he felt it.

When his head eventually connected with the bed rail, everything went dark.

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**_Yes, yes…some more whumpage, you guys wanted that! Another cliffie, too. Isn't that nice?_**

_**I really really think I'll end this story some day, but I'm still having fun writing it.**_

_**There'll probably be about 2-4 more chapters.**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: I apologize a thousand times for the delay, but school is really taking up all of my free time right now. That's why I think I'll probably end this story soon, it's been way longer than initially planned anyway.**_

_**A big hug goes out to everyone who reviewed and still reviews, I cannot thank you enough!**_

_**This chapter is whumpalicious from the beginning to the end! evil grin**_

* * *

Carson left the mess hall and was quickly rushing towards the infirmary with a grim look. 

It had been the first time in weeks he had convinced himself to eat outside his office. However, he had just abandoned half his lunch, because he had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. The Doctor didn't know what to think of it, but his gut told him that something was wrong. And he had learned to trust his gut feeling over the last few years.

Just before he entered the infirmary, his radio came on: "Dr. Beckett, please report to the infirmary immediately." Carson recognized the quivering voice of one of his younger nurses. This can't be good! Since he was already close to the infirmary, he picked up the pace and soon burst through the door yelling "I'm here, I'm here. What's wrong?…. Bloody hell!"

No explanation was needed. Carson knew exactly what had happened when he stood in front of the mess. The curtain at Sheppard's bed was half pulled down and the nurse was frantically trying to pull at a heart monitor. She turned around when he heard her CMO's voice.

"Dr. Beckett… He must have…tried to get out…I just heard… a lot of noise and found him like this…. He's unresponsive. I'm sorry." She said, close to tears.

Sheppard's bare legs were the only thing visible of the man. His upper body was buried under the heavy machine, so Carson didn't lose any more time and helped his nurse to pull the ventilator off the Colonel. It took them a few minutes and Carson was about to call for some help when the machine finally moved, allowing them to slowly lift it off of Sheppard. The Doctor wiped his sweaty forehead and bent down to check his patient over.

The Colonel was unconscious and blood was oozing from an open wound on the side of his head, staining his face and the floor. Carson carefully turned him around after he had checked for any neck injuries and put his stethoscope on Sheppard's chest.

"Heavy, but good breath sounds; no fluids.." he whispered, mostly to himself. When he lifted the Colonel's gown, he saw that angry red bruises were already forming all over his chest. Anyway, he'd have to worry about that later.

The Colonel did not show any signs of consciousness and his pupils were wide and sluggish.

"Bad concussion." Carson thought. Judging by the ugly head wound, he wasn't surprised.

"Colonel? Can you hear me, son?" he asked, gently shaking him. But Sheppard remained unresponsive. He turned around to face his nurse, who was still kneeling nervously behind the Doctor.

"Would you please go an' get someone, we need to get him off the floor." He instructed.

"Of course!" The nurse answered, stood up and ran for the door. Carson had a feeling that she was relieved to get out of this situation. No wonder, it had probably scared the poor girl half to death and he had a feeling that she'd think her choice of profession over once this was over.

OOo

After they had settled the Colonel back into his bed – he hadn't woken up during the whole procedure – Carson proceeded with his exam by checking Sheppard for any broken bones.

When the Scot touched his abdomen, Sheppard winced, although not waking up entirely.

"What have you done to yourself now, Son?" Carson sighted quietly. He could feel at least two broken ribs which thankfully hadn't caused any internal injury. However, they would be uncomfortable to say the least. On top of the concussion and a broken wrist, this would definitely delay the Colonel's recovery considerably. His fever had gone up again, too.

Beckett put his patient on oxygen and started an IV with medication to take the edge off the pain before Sheppard woke up. He also cleaned and bound the head wound as well as his ribs.

Carson turned around when he heard somebody enter the infirmary.

It was Teyla, carrying a tray of food. She smiled at the Doctor at first, but when she saw the bandage around John's head, her face fell.

"Dr. Beckett? What happened?" she asked concerned and put the tray on the night stand.

"Well, Mr. Impatient here decided to disobey my orders again and took a little walk instead. Didn't get very far, though. He hit his head pretty hard and has some broken ribs. His fever is back to 103. I can't tell you more before he wakes up."

Teyla gave Sheppard a sympathetic look and lovingly brushed his cheek, careful not to touch the bandage.

"Don't even feel sorry for him, his own stupidity got him where he is now. Sometimes I just want to slap him in the face." Carson said angrily, only earning a puzzled look from Teyla.

He couldn't help it. He was so mad at the Colonel. It seemed like the man never did what he was told. It always got him into more trouble and pain, but yet he didn't learn to be more careful or give himself more time. Carson had lost count on how many times Sheppard had refused to listen to him and he always had the honor to pick him up off the floor. He was so sick of it!

Ooo

Teyla watched the Scottish Doctor storm back into his office. She had seen Carson mad a few times, but did not remember him ever being this enraged. She turned her attention back to John when she heard him moan in his sleep. He was restless and pale, dark circles under his eyes showing the exhaustion. Teyla wondered if he ever got any real sleep in here. When he moaned again, she took his hand in hers and stroke his forehead with the other.

Teyla was very worried about the fever and hoped it was only temporary. Since she didn't want to leave him alone now, she settled herself comfortably in one of the chairs and lent back.

The situation a few days ago – when he had almost died on her – came back to her mind. She had felt so desperate back then, a feeling she had not experienced since her father was taken years ago. It frightened her. Back then, she had sworn herself never to let anybody come that close again. Especially not a man from a distant world she had never seen before. What was it about John Sheppard that made her feel this way?

Teyla thought about it for a while, but did not come to a logical explanation. There was just something special about him.

"What have you done to me, John?" she asked quietly.

OOo

Five hours later, Sheppard still hadn't woken up and Carson was getting worried. He had thrown Teyla out a few minutes ago and was now fumbling with his pen light.

When he shone the light in Sheppard's eyes, he noticed that they were still reacting a bit slowly. However, the Colonel moved his head to the side and moaned.

"Colonel?…. Colonel, can you hear me?" Carson asked. When he received another pained moan, he was certain that his patient was regaining consciousness.

"Come on, Son. Open your eyes for me.." he said in a low voice as he knew Sheppard probably had the mother of all headaches.

"…shower…. too heavy… curtain…" Sheppard mumbled, his eyes still tightly shut.

"Ah, that's what I thought… Listen, buddy. You gotta open your eyes for just a minute." He instructed, still shaking the Colonel.

"…trrrryin'.." John answered, his eyes moving under his closed lids. He slowly opened his eyes, stopping half way, looking for something to focus on.

"That's it, Lad. Now try to focus on my finger and follow it with your eyes." Carson said, holding up his right index finger.

Sheppard focused on the finger and did his best not to let it out of his sight. The problem was that he now saw 3 fingers and his head began spinning.

A sudden wave of nausea suddenly hit him with full force: "…gonna…be sick.." he managed to say, before he felt somebody turn him to the side, causing an agonizing pain in his chest area. He only hoped that Carson had managed to grab a basin, because he started throwing up as soon as he was on his side. After he had brought up the little that was in his stomach, he dry heaved for a few more minutes until it finally stopped and he collapsed back onto the bed. His chest felt like somebody was crushing it and his whole head threatened to explode.

Only two days ago, he had been under the impression that nothing could hurt as much as getting blood drawn out of your lungs without sedation, but now he knew that he had been seriously wrong. Sheppard couldn't remember what had happened, in fact his head was unable to form one coherent thought, but he was sure that it wouldn't speed up his recovery.

"Is that better?" he heard Carson mumble through the ringing in his ears. John knew what the Doctor was talking about when he felt something warm flowing through his veins. Blissful darkness thankfully took him away only seconds later.

OOo

"See what you've gotten yourself into, Son?" Carson asked quietly after John had fallen back to unconsciousness. His anger from earlier had completely disappeared after he had seen the agony Sheppard was going through and would still be going through for the next few days.

After all, the Colonel was lucky not to have caused more serious injuries. The last thing he needed now was a broken rib puncturing one of his recovering lungs. But Carson had made sure that that wasn't the case. Everything else would heal in time, he'd just have to take up with him a little longer than initially necessary.

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**_Do you know the little button in the left corner? It is feeling lonely right now and wants you to hit it and give your opinion on the story! Pllllleeeeaaaaaassseeeeee?_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N: Yes, I know, this has taken me forever, but next to the very sucky RL that's called University, I experienced some kind of writer's block._**

**_I also reread the whole story and have to apologize for the last few chapters, as I got the impression that they were somewhat rushed and shallow, but as soon as I finish with the story, I'll rewrite it, hopefully I can make it better!_**

_**I wanted to thank everybody who has reviewed and especially peekaboo who offered to help me with the medical stuff. Hopefully, I'll take you up on that offer!**_

**_OK, enough of this… ENJOY!_**

* * *

The next few days went by in some kind of a daze for John. He spent the whole day sleeping, except that Carson did develop the habit to wake him every few hours asking stupid questions to check if he was still there. Thankfully, the Doctor at least had the decency to give him something to get back to sleep afterwards. 

Sheppard's head was still feeling like somebody continually hit it with a jack hammer in his sleep and the threatening feeling of nausea never left him once, making it impossible to fall asleep on his own. Concussions sucked!

Four days after the Colonel had had the glorious idea to get himself into more trouble, Carson decided that it was time for him to finally come out of his drug induced haze.

The Doctor shook him gently: "Come on, lad. Time to wake up now."

Sheppard slowly started moving his head and moaned when the ever-present pain greeted him once again. He pressed two fingers against his temples and gently massaged them.

"Again?" he asked weakly. All he wanted was to get a good night's sleep, but Beckett always seemed to have the urge to wake him at the wrong time. To him, it felt like he had been woken only 10 minutes ago.

"Last time was 5 hours ago." Carson answered patiently and shook him again when he realized that his patient wasn't completely awake yet and about to go back to sleep.

"I'm sorry, Lad, but I need you to stay awake for me a wee bit longer."

Sheppard swallowed. He had a feeling what that meant, but wasn't sure if he was ready for that, yet. As much as he wanted to get back to a normal life, his head was killing him and the light hurt his eyes. If he could just close his eyes for a little bit longer, he'd feel better.

"Alright, do you remember what happened?" Carson asked sympathetically, only to receive an annoyed look from the Colonel.

John thought about that for a moment. He remembered that McKay had gotten him sick with pneumonia, but he also recalled getting better, so that couldn't haven been all.

Something must have happened to give him this kind of headache, but he couldn't, for the life of it, remember what it was. The more he thought about this only resulted in making his head hurt worse, so he gave up after a few minutes.

"No." he simply stated, starting to get frustrated with himself as well as the doctor.

"You are experiencing memory loss, it's a common side effect of a concussion." Carson explained " but don't worry, it'll probably all come back to you in a few days."

Sheppard sighed "I'm not sure I want it to, Doc." He had a feeling that he had been the one who'd gotten himself in this situation and he was sure _if_ he remembered, he'd never hear the end of it.

"Well, let's just say you hit your head pretty hard and broke some ribs."

"No kidding, my head is killing me!" John answered quietly while he shot his Doctor a pleading look, hoping for some pain killers. His chest was also starting to act up now.

"I'll add some Tylenol to your IV in a minute…" Carson promised, but his patient didn't look very happy. He had hoped for something stronger and seriously doubted that Tylenol would do the trick.

"Look, I know it hurts, Son, but I don't want to keep you all drugged up for longer than necessary. I kept you sedated for the last 4 days, but the sooner we do this, the sooner you can get outta here." Carson knew exactly how to get to his patients. Years of experience and the fact that he had gotten to know Sheppard pretty well over the last few months were eventually paying off. And judging by his patient's look, it worked, too.

"Are you ready for some hot soup?" he asked hopefully.

However, the thought of food alone suddenly made the nausea Sheppard had tried to ignore unbearable and he felt his gagging reflex starting to overwhelm him as Carson held a basin up to his chin. Since his stomach was far beyond empty, he only brought up a little bile before falling back onto his bed, completely drained.

Carson's hand was still firmly holding onto his shoulder "Ok, forget the food… How about some water?" he asked cautiously. The last thing he wanted was for John to get sick again and there was no need to further aggravate his injuries by having him dry heaving.

Sheppard nodded slowly. He welcomed the thought of cold water, it'd do wonders to help his dry throat and that was the only thing he expected to be able to keep down as long as he was feeling so sick anyway. Carson took the glass of water from the night stand and helped his patient take a few sips before setting it down again.

"Ok, I'll give you that Tylenol now and I'm gonna add something for the nausea, too."

Sheppard nodded: "That'd be great!" he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. He had had concussions before, but nothing compared to this.

"How is everybody?" he asked, trying to start up a conversation that'd take his mind off of the pain and nausea until the effects of the medicine started to set in.

Carson eyed him curiously while fumbling with the IV line: "Fine, fine. Rodney still has that cold, he's down here every day because he worries he'll develop pneumonia like you did. I keep telling him that he has nothing to worry about, but you know how he is!.."

Sheppard nodded with a smile before Carson continued: "Oh, and he's been visiting you every day, too, wearing a mask, because he is afraid to get you sick again. Ronon and Elizabeth also come here every day, Teyla even three times a day. And, believe it or not; even Colonel Caldwell has been down here to check on you, although he obviously enjoys your job quite a bit…"

Carson stopped himself when he noticed Sheppard's tense expression by the mention of Caldwell doing his job.

"Hey, you're gonna be back on your feet in no time, don't worry." He said reassuringly, but Sheppard looked sceptical "No time, huh? How long have I been down here?"

Beckett calculated back and was surprised himself at how much time had passed since the incident with the retro virus. He took some days off and answered: "'Bout a month."

"Yeah, and who knows how long I'll still be stuck in here and how long it'll take you to clear me for active duty? When I get back to work, Caldwell will probably have overthrown everything I have worked out to control this base. He was probably just here to figure out how much time he has to complete his plan…."

"Now, that's not fair, Colonel. He seemed honestly concerned and you know that Elizabeth supports you 100 ." Carson tried to cheer him up, but he knew that he wouldn't feel any different if somebody changed the way he ran things in the infirmary and he didn't trust Caldwell, either.

John didn't respond. As he expected, the Tylenol hadn't helped at all with his headache, if anything, it was getting worse. "I want to talk to Caldwell." He said with gritted teeth, unable to conceal the pain.

"I don't think so. Maybe tomorrow.." Carson answered, noticing the extreme discomfort his patient seemed to be in. "The Tylenol didn't help?"

The Colonel carefully shook his head and felt Carson pressing a hand against his forehead.

"You still have some temperature… Listen, I want you to try and go back to sleep now.." he instructed.

Sheppard turned his head to look him in the eye "No magic pills?"

Carson shook his head "I'm sorry, but I want to reduce the medication and I think now would be a good time."

"You do, huh? Maybe tomorrow would be even better…Honestly, Doc. My head is killing me, just a tiny one?"

Dr. Beckett couldn't believe what he was hearing. The way Colonel Sheppard was practically pleading for medication to knock him out was worrisome to say the least. He usually had to be forced to take any medication and the fact that he was asking for it now only underlined his decision that it was time to take him off. The less pain medication, the better.

Although it had never happened to him, he had heard of patients getting addicted to them more than once and he wasn't gonna take that chance.

"Sorry, Colonel. You gotta go without this time." He said and turned around to leave. Carson heard his patient cursing, but he knew that Sheppard was too weak to get out of bed to do anything stupid. In fact, he expected him to be fast asleep in a few minutes, with sedatives or without.

Ooo

"Doc!" Sheppard yelled, but Carson was already back in his office and had closed the door behind him. John couldn't believe this. He was actually being ignored and he didn't even do anything wrong, all he wanted was a little something to ease his headache.

Suddenly, John realized what he was so mad about and what it meant.

"Hold on…. What…Am I stupid?" he said to himself. He was acting like a junkie! The memory of the worst time in his life came back with a vengeance and he realized that he was heading straight for that again…

Suddenly, he was back in Afghanistan, 4 years ago. It was his first mission abroad and he had only been there for a couple of weeks when he witnessed two local teenagers get into a fist fight in front of their camp, one obviously taller and older than the other. When he tried to break up the fight, the taller one suddenly pulled a weapon and shot. He was on the floor bleeding, before he could react.

The weeks afterwards were a blur to him, but the stomach wound had developed an infection and he was in a lot of pain for days. The young and inexperienced doctor had put him on morphine to ease his discomfort, but had also completely missed the signs afterwards. When she eventually realized that he was requesting too much too often, it was already too late.

The withdrawal had been the hardest thing he ever had to go through, especially because he had to act as if nothing was wrong with him to avoid being thrown out of the Air Force. He had been lucky that the young doctor had felt so guilty, Sheppard even succeeded in convincing her to keep the incident out of his record.

It had taken him months until the last traces of morphine had finally left his system and since then, he had been more than reluctant to take any kind of medication. But here he was, shouting at Beckett to give him more.

Could he blame it on the concussion, on his fuzzy head? On the fact that his head hurt so much, he couldn't even think straight? Sheppard hoped that it was one of the above, but knew that he'd have to get a hold of himself, one way or another.

He didn't know whether he fell asleep or lost consciousness, but he was soon dreaming restlessly, dreaming of his time in Afghanistan. And in situations like this, it became obvious that he would not – should not - ever forget what happened back then!

OOo

Teyla and Rodney strolled into the infirmary, chatting about the weather. They had met up a few minutes ago, each of them on their way to visit Colonel Sheppard. Teyla hoped that John was awake this time, she longed to talk to him and convince herself that he was really OK. However, when they approached the bed, they saw him asleep again, although restless.

"He sure is doin' a lot of sleeping these days." Rodney teased, but Teyla only looked at him sharply. She sat down on the only chair and took John's hand in hers.

"Sure, I can get myself a chair, don't worry about me." He snapped loudly, receiving another sharp look from Teyla.

However, being Rodney, he was way too impatient to just sit there and stare at the wall, waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up, so he decided to pay Beckett a visit instead.

OOo

Five minutes later, Teyla could make out a heated discussion between Beckett and McKay, so she turned around and saw Rodney putting Carson's hand against his forehead.

Teyla smiled. That man was such a _hypochondriac, _using a term whose meaning John had explained to her a few months ago. But she had to agree; it seemed to describe Rodney's behavior perfectly.

"Havin' fun?"

Teyla turned around again and found John looking at her with weary eyes. She quickly let go off his hand and answered: "Colonel….No, I was only…They are just like children." She explained smiling.

However, when she noticed that John wasn't returning her smile, her expression grew serious. He had his head turned away and stared at the ceiling with a grim look.

"Is everything alright?" she asked carefully. The last thing she wanted was to rush him. But he turned his attention back to her and smiled "Yeah. I'm just glad you're here for me." He answered, catching her completely off guard.

Teyla nervously returned his smile and waited until he fell asleep.

"I'm glad you're still here, John Sheppard." she said quietly and smiled. Maybe, things were finally looking up.

* * *

**_Well, what do you think? I thought I should throw in some emotional whumping instead of physical, I definitely hurt him enough in the last few chapters._**

**_Next chapter will be about Shep's recovery, a plain after-whump infirmary scene to be precise. There's not gonna be any new whumping, but the recovery itself will be whumpalicious enough, I promise!_**

_**Review, review :-D**_


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N: I am so sorry that it took me ages (almost a month) to update this time, but you won't believe how RL sucked the last few weeks. Tons of work for school, computer problems (they're driving me crazy) and of course: Christmas._**

_**No, I have not forgotten about you!**_

**_Anyway, this is the last chapter, to wrap up the story. I'm afraid it's a little fluffy and short, but I honestly think Shep has suffered enough in this story, he deserves a little fun. _**

_**ENJOY!**_

* * *

_Two weeks later – the infirmary_

Sheppard's recovery had been proceeding slowly and although the Colonel really had been a good patient since his accident, it was taking his body longer to heal than he had expected. Of course, Beckett said that it was to be expected, considering the multiple traumas his body had experienced.

Since John had been unable to move around much with his broken ribs, he was still weak and his arms and legs stiff from misuse and the headache refused to go away. His temperature was still slightly elevated. He also slept most of the day and every time he was awake, Beckett seemed to be trying to shove food into him, only resulting in John getting frustrated again.

"You can't be serious! I just ate 2 hours ago. I'm not hungry."

Beckett sighed and put the tray aside "No, I offered two hours ago, but you rejected…. Just like you're doing now… Listen lad, you have to eat to get your strength back. Your body has been through a lot and it needs all the help it can get to help it recover."

"But I'm just not hungry. I doubt it'll help if I eat now and it all makes a reappearance in 10 minutes." He answered stubbornly.

"Well, it's a turkey sandwich and some orange juice. I'll put it right here on the table and you can eat it later when you get hungry." He offered. Carson knew that the Colonel was in a very bad mood now and was just being stubborn. He had noticed that in Sheppard's behavior over the last few weeks. Every time he got frustrated with himself or the situation, he refused the food. But as soon as his stomach started growling, he'd reach for the tray.

"When can I get outta here?" Sheppard snapped.

"The answer is not gonna be any different than it was 20 minutes ago. Not within the next week, you can barely stand on your own feet." Carson tried to stay patient. He knew that the Colonel was just trying to annoy him into releasing him, but he wasn't falling for it. He had come too close to losing Sheppard this time, he wasn't going to risk any complications by letting him go too early.

"Dammit!" he yelled, throwing a pillow against the wall and groaning when the effort pulled at his ribs.

Carson knew better than to stay and attempt a conversation with his patient. When Sheppard was in this kind of mood, all you could do was run.

oOo

When Teyla entered the infirmary 20 minutes later, she found Doctor Beckett working in his office and John dozing in his bed.

After the Doctor had warned her to better wear a bulletproof vest before she went in there, she walked over to the Colonel's bed and eyed her friend closely. His features were pale and his eyes were underlined with dark circles. He looked so frail.

'No wonder he is so upset.' She thought about how she would feel after having been cooped up in the infirmary for weeks with nothing to do but sleep and watch others come and go. She knew she had to do something and an idea quickly formed in her head. She looked around to see if anybody was close by. After she had convinced herself that no nurse was on duty, she shut the privacy curtain between the Colonel's bed and Carson's office. The Doctor was so engrossed in his paperwork that he didn't even notice the movement.

After Teyla had repositioned the wheelchair next to Sheppard's bed, she gently shook him.

"Colonel, wake up.." she whispered.

"Wha…..? Teyla?" John opened his eyes and looked at her puzzled.

"Sshhh. If we are really quiet, Doctor Beckett will not even notice that we are gone." She explained, fumbling with the blanket.

"Where are we going?" John asked, still a little confused about what Teyla was up to.

"SSsshh, we must hurry."

John nodded. Whatever it was that Teyla had in mind, anything was better than the infirmary.

Without another word, Teyla helped Sheppard into the wheelchair and quickly wheeled him out of the infirmary door. John just leaned back, relaxed and closed his eyes. He didn't care where they were going, he was just relieved and even a little excited that he was going to see something else than the infirmary tiles when he next opened his eyes.

He heard a few doors open as they went and realized that they had also used the transporter. Despite the fact that he had no idea where they were, he did not open his eyes. He trusted Teyla and he was curious where they were headed.

After a few minutes of walking, John heard another door whoosh open and immediately felt a cold breeze greeting him. When Teyla stopped the wheelchair, he finally opened his eyes. It was one of the most beautiful sights he remembered ever seeing.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen this balcony before, he had been here a thousand times, but to feel the cold breeze going through his hair and the fact that he was actually breathing fresh air overwhelmed him more than he thought possible. The suffocating feeling inside was suddenly gone and he was just plain happy.

John wasn't sure for how long he just sat there with closed eyes, taking deep breaths, but when he opened his eyes, he found Teyla a few feet away from him leaning against the rail, looking out onto the ocean.

"Thank you, Teyla." He said quietly and held out his hand.

She turned around and smiled at him, breathed in deeply and bent down to take his hand into hers.

"You looked like you could use something to cheer you up. I just wish I could do more to help you."

"You couldn't possibly do more. You brought me here, to my favorite place, just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore. And being here with you…. What else could I want?" he whispered and took her face into his hands.

For one tiny moment, he overthrew all doubts and responsibilities and let himself go completely. He did what he had longed to do for so long. He closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips on hers.

Teyla did seem surprised, but returned the kiss, all the worry she had had for him in the last weeks, falling off of her. He was finally safe now. Safe with her.

It wasn't long until their moment was interrupted by the familiar Scottish brogue and a very unhappy Doctor turning up behind them.

"What do you two think you're doin'? It is freezing cold out here and you still have a fever. You are coming back inside with me right now, Colonel! I can't believe that you can possibly be……"

John and Teyla stopped listening to the Doctor's speech and smiled at each other, knowing that they had mastered yet another crisis.

And _maybe_ there was a chance for them.

* * *

**THE END**

_**Sooo, that's it.. Story finished, over, ende, finito.**_

_**I will work on the whole story, I'll try to make it better and more fluent to read.**_

**_REVIEW anyway, and PLEASE tell me what you thought overall! _**

**_Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEARS!_**

_**EDIT: Alright, I have gone through every chapter and improved what didn't feel right to me. I will let this story be now and hope I made you all happy! g I surely had lots of fun writing it!**_


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